Adult child denying access to Grandchild

[Hollywood2]

My 23 year old daughter had a Biploar/ADD diagnosis for years. Recently, she was hospitalized twice for self-harming and diagnosed as Borderline, too.  Her rage has often sadly been self-directed. She is now out of control, sending vile messages to the entire family, has cut everyone off (after people spoke and discovered all the lies and confronted her), and will not let us see our grandchild. Her paternal Grandmother is totally codependent with her and she is now living there after losing her job,  condo, and being asked to leave her Dad’s.  I now feel like I don’t know who she is.  She suffers from addiction and is in deep denial about her level of parenting. I fear she will get worse with her Grandmother.  Is this what we can expect now? Dangling our granddaughter out there as punishment?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Hello Hollywood2 and welcome to the group. Your story is a sadly familiar one. There are many grandparents here who are barred from seeing their grandchildren by their BPD children. It is a painful situation but they cope. I am sure they will be coming along shortly to offer their advice. For now I would say the best thing to do is learn and use the communication skills we teach here to improve your relationship with your daughter and hopefully help her feel less threatened and more comfortable with allowing you to spend time with your granddaughter. Things do not necessarily have to get worse. The situation could get better. Have you had a chance to poke around the site yet and read some articles or watch some videos? Would you like some help locating material that is unique to your situation? We are all here for you.
Hugs
Faith