27 yo daughter BP

[nonbordermom11]

Hi! new member and 1st post...need guidance on how to deal with my angry daughter who is accusing me of abusing her and causing all the problems in her life. She spends every conversation telling me I have to "fix" the problem, demands money, because I owe it to her. her analogy...like a car accident where I am at fault so I have to pay for the other cars damages. She is currently unemployed, living in an apt 12 hrs away. A fight escalated, she was raging and threatening to call the cops, stating we were threatening her. My husband was yelling back ( did not know this was not the right thing to do). She left the house, my husband tool 2 Xanax and thought he was having a stroke, right side of his body going numb. he has a cardiac history. Now she is accusing us of throwing out a mentally unstable person. she was in a psych unit for 1 week following a suicide attempt...we brought her home and coddled her while she lashed out daily...I could go on for hours but you get the jest... looking for advice

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Welcome.  You are in the right place and glad you found us!  It is highly emotional what you are going through.  You mentioned she is living in an apartment 12 hrs away , is she there currently, or was there?  The first steps are to make sure you all are safe.  Can you tell us more as you are able?  You are not alone here. 

[Janytao]

I really understand this and I feel for you.  My daughter  is 24 and boy do I understand the lashing out and blaming.  My daughter is employed , finished college and looks amazing to the world...but she rips me to shreds at least 3 times a week.  She just had a lil girl so this has become a new way to punish me.   I’m sorry you are going through this pain.  I’m new here too
Tanya