Hello magic78,
It's hard to say what she may be feeling / thinking. All your hypotheses are valid. She may be doing this in order for you to chase her, or she may be doing this to detach, because she may think you are not good to her. Or she may be doing this because she don't really know what she is feeling (emotional lability). Or, maybe, it's because she wants to make sure you are there for her (safety net). It can be consciously manipulative. It can be unconscious...
It's really hard to say, given the emotional unstability of BPD.
What we can say is that her way of communicating her feelings / wants / needs is very imature / not assertive and she let you be there thinking and trying to guess what's happening, wich is, by the way, a sign of co-dependence by your part. It is, of course, something very difficult do avoid ( i, myself, obsess a lot thinking in all the possibilities ).
The more you think of, and be involved with this kind of uncertainties, the more you are tangled in the net.
Yeah I have no idea what she is actually feeling / thinking. But her behaviour is as you say very immature & she did say that she had matured a lot over the last year! This does show my co-dependency & the reason I am still tangled up in this mess. Why am I even sat here pondering all these possibilities? I guess it's because I feel I can fix things if only I knew the answers. I am currently reading stop caretaking the borderline or narcissist & I am finding it of great help to show me my thought processes.
What do you want from this situation?
What do you feel like doing?
I get the question or similar "What do you want from this" when I post questions & that question in itself makes me feel really uncomfortable. It feels like everything is then my responsibility which makes me feel really uncomfortable & the truth is that I have no idea what I want to be honest. I feel like just leaving it now & see what happens. My gut feeling is not to get into a relationship with her again. But my heart says otherwise!
