Needing guidance

[Daninreallife]

Hi,
I am the parent of an adult child with BPD. I was hoping to connect with people who may be experiencing the same issues I am facing. I am either the greatest, most loving Mom in the world, or the worst parent, who is the cause of all of her unhappiness. Problems start first thing in the morning, and can be ongoing until late at night. If you can relate, I would appreciate your feedback.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Hello Daninreallife
Welcome to the group. I am glad to meet you and sorry for what brought you here. Your question is a good one that many here can relate to. People with BPD often do what is called splitting. That means they only see people as totally good or totally bad often switching back and forth.
It is part of the disorder and sounds like what your child is doing. Is there anything else you want to ask about or share?

[Done-er Stepdad]

You are a very loving person, probably prone to co-dependence and over-giving, who has done the absolute best you can for a very long time, at great cost to yourself.

Whatever completely reasonable and well-intentioned mistakes you may have made in your child's upbringing are not in any way responsible for the terrible situation you now find yourself in.

Your ambivalence about your role in her very serious mental problems will be used against you by her. I suggest you keep it to yourself.