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Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse... Have you considered that being critical, judgmental, or invalidating toward the other parent, no matter what she or he just did will only make matters worse? Someone has to be do something. This means finding the motivation to stop making things worse, learning how to interrupt your own negative responses, body language, facial expressions, voice tone, and learning how to inhibit your urges to do things that you later realize are contributing to the tensions.
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Author Topic: Coparenting with saving for college  (Read 403 times)
Newyoungfather
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 248


« on: December 11, 2019, 08:13:50 PM »

Hello Everyone,
I want to start saving for my sons college education and can't seem to get a straight answer from my attorney's.  I am interested in the 529 college savings plan and I want to make sure exbpd keeps her hands off of it.  I figured my fellow bloggers have the same issues with their ex and money so just looking for some answers and solutions.
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worriedStepmom
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
Posts: 1157


« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2019, 08:04:01 AM »

529s are considered the assets of the person who opens them.  So it legally belongs to you, even though your son is listed as a beneficiary.  As long as you are alive, your ex has zero claim on the 529  (there are potential issues with FAFSA later, if she's still the custodial parent).

If you were to die, ownership of the account will depend on the rules of the state 529 plan that you are using.  Some states let you name a contingent owner (mine does).  Some states would make your son the new owner (and then your ex might have some say).

You might want to talk to a financial adviser.  Once you've picked the plan that you like and know how they handle accounts when the owner dies, then you could talk to a lawyer who specializes in estate planning and see what you need to do so that your ex can't get her hands on it.


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ForeverDad
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: separated 2005 then divorced
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You can't reason with the Voice of Unreason...


« Reply #2 on: December 12, 2019, 09:47:45 PM »

A similar approach can be done with your child if a beneficiary of your life insurance policies.  Naming your minor beneficiary as "in trust for {name} pursuant to will dated {date}" should then direct the executor of your will to follow the terms you set up there and the people you name will administer the funds rather than the other parent.
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Newyoungfather
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 248


« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2019, 06:13:04 PM »

Thanks everyone for your replies.  I am deft looking into these solutions.
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