Help please

[Hollie]

Hello all, I found this site in the book The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder. I obviously knew my son has serious mental health issues and after reading symptoms and signs I bought the book and my goodness this is definitely my son. He has no formal diagnosis as he is an agoraphobic and refuses to see anyone at all”does not want to be in the system”
I have been his only carerr for 19 years, he is now 36. He also is an alcoholic. I am seriously struggling, for the past 2 days he has bombarded me with abusive texts which I can’t cope with, they are extremely upsetting. He says he hates me among other nasty stuff. I try to calm him down but he doesn’t listen and turns everything on me saying I’m the one with mental health issues. These aggressive outbursts seem to come around every 6/8 weeks. I am mentally and emotionally exhausted. My husband (not his dad) tells me to try ignore the messages. Is there anyone who can give me an idea how to cope with these outbursts please, I’m desperate.
Thank you

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Jen2020]

Hi Hollie,

I think I just figured out my daughter has borderline at 18 after terrorizing the household with her behaviors and creating enormous conflict for about 5 years now.  She is currently in an intensive inpatient treatment and I am working on finding an extended residential treatment facility.  I've been researching a lot, and DBT seems to be the goto therapy for people with BPD. You can go to google maps and search for DBT in your area. I've ordered some books for her such as BPD survival guide and a BPD Mindfulness book, and I'm about to order some books for myself.  "Walking on Eggshells" seems to be a popular one.  Trying to take advantage of information on www.bpdcentral.com.

From one struggling mom to another - I wish you the best.  Take care of yourself.  Easy to say, and hard to do.  Believe me, I know.