Tired of walking on Eggshells & Ready to change..looking for community support

[Parents! Get help here!]

Hi,

I've never joined this kind of support environment yet I'm so thankful this exists!
I'm a mother to a 21 year old daughter with BPD traits and about every 3 months or so i notice she's had an outburst of rage, or worse. Right now I'm noticing that nearly every time I start to really focus on and take great care of myself and rasie my vibration high- it's like there's an unseen/energetic cord where she's done something to try and pull me down. I get that this is a mental health issue and it's real after dealing with these happenings since she was 12. And I'm also aware of energy..I know now I came here to be a true balanced warror of love.

it's not gonna be easy yet I'm at a point now where I'm very clear that I must study and implement the no-blame system and learn to practice setting boundaries with love consistently. this means reading and studying and implementing daily with lots of self-care prioritized.

So today is day 1 of my new commitment to wellness for myself and my daughter and my family.

Any insights from those who've gone before me would be so lovely. Put simply she's gone to jail twice last year for rage and beating up her old boyfriend and there's been a lot more over the years to where I'm choosing to face the fear I've had of my own child.
Jeez.. I know you guys get it.

Much love & gratitude

[selfcaremama]

Hi,

I've never joined this kind of support environment yet I'm so thankful this exists!
I'm a mother to a 21 year old daughter with BPD traits and about every 3 months or so i notice she's had an outburst of rage, or worse. Right now I'm noticing that nearly every time I start to really focus on and take great care of myself and rasie my vibration high- it's like there's an unseen/energetic cord where she's done something to try and pull me down. I get that this is a mental health issue and it's real after dealing with these happenings since she was 12. And I'm also aware of energy..I know now I came here to be a true balanced warror of love.

it's not gonna be easy yet I'm at a point now where I'm very clear that I must study and implement the no-blame system and learn to practice setting boundaries with love consistently. this means reading and studying and implementing daily with lots of self-care prioritized.

So today is day 1 of my new commitment to wellness for myself and my daughter and my family.

Any insights from those who've gone before me would be so lovely. Put simply she's gone to jail twice last year for rage and beating up her old boyfriend and there's been a lot more over the years to where I'm choosing to face the fear I've had of my own child.
Jeez.. I know you guys get it.

Much love & gratitude

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Hi Selfcare and welcome!
You are most definitely on the right track with prioritizing yourself.  I gather from your post your daughter lives with you and probably is not in therapy?  As we all know, BPD  hates change, so be prepared to fortify those boundaries.  It helps to have your own network.  This forum is one.  It may even be helpful to have your own therapist as your finances allow.  There are also online Alanon, CODA( co dependent's anonymous) , free support groups that focuses on the principles of detachment  from the person (addict, BPD, etc).  Self care is mandatory!