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Author Topic: Hi, I'm pretty sure my D16 has BPD  (Read 368 times)
momtario
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« on: November 20, 2020, 11:39:26 AM »

 Welcome new member (click to insert in post)

I'll just reintroduce myself.

I've been here before, a very long time ago. My ex-H has a cluster-B disorder, but with a legally enforced NC order for the past 3+ years, his disorder is very rarely my concern anymore. We do share four children, however, and it's becoming more obvious by the day that our eldest is heading toward a BPD diagnosis.

She currently has diagnosed OCD, ODD, GAD, PTSD, anxiety, and depression and is taking appropriate medication but refuses therapy. I'm aware that my past inability to effectively address the abuse in our past home played a major role in this. All I can say to that is that we are now safe, and going forward I'd like to focus on the future and giving her the best chance possible.

For myself, I am in treatment for complex PTSD and DID.

My biggest current concerns for my D16 are that she's self harming, she has no age-appropriate desire to be independent from me, and that she's very quick to B/W thinking and feeling abandoned.
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
Swimmy55
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Estranged
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« Reply #1 on: November 21, 2020, 12:31:21 PM »

Hi
I have read some of your previous posts and am very grateful you and your children have survived what you've been through and are currently safe.  Good on you for being in therapy.   I am loath to suggest anything different than what a person's therapist says, so my first question would be what does your therapist suggest re: how to handle your daughter's self harming?
  
It is tough that she is refusing therapy.  Would she consider online therapy?  Or a crisis team to come out and talk with her?   Could you and your own therapist come up with a contract with / for your daughter with some boundaries?  Last but not least , can you speak to your daughter's guidance counselor maybe?  Sorry about all the questions-just throwing some ideas out there off the top of my head. 
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formflier
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« Reply #2 on: November 21, 2020, 02:25:43 PM »


At 16 in your state can she refuse medical care?  Does that extend to therapy?

I would ask appropriate medical personnel for recommendations for how to handle self harm and if there should be "consequences" for it..such as if she won't participate in treatment then she goes to inpatient.

 Virtual hug (click to insert in post) Virtual hug (click to insert in post) Virtual hug (click to insert in post)

How long has self harm been going on?

Best,

FF
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MamaBear4vr

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Relationship status: Living together
Posts: 5


« Reply #3 on: November 22, 2020, 02:52:51 PM »

I wish I knew. I'm in a similar situation with DD17, although my dd is fiercely independent (kind of obnoxious about it) and I am mystified. Hugs to you.
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