Welcome to BPDforums, glad to meet you, sorry you're here...
Somewhere over the years I heard the adage that Borderlines like the idea of things more than they like things; sounds like perhaps that's your wife's issue with the dogs. She likes the idea of a new dog more than she actually likes the dog itself (as three others might attest).
A major theme in your relationship seems to be this "You're treating me like a child"; in my experience I never heard it until AFTER we had children. Apparently until seeing my fathering skills, it never occurred to her that my caretaking was not actually just how true romance worked and husband-wife relationships don't normally require the same level of structure, compassion and home-education that can seem patronizing. She weaponized it plenty, trying to make people feel sorry for her to think she was being "babied" or "controlled", or shouting "omg if you're going to put me on an allowance just because I stole money for alcohol then that makes you a pedophile because I [verb] your [anatomy]" before voraciously doing so again to prove whatever point it proves to her. So be careful about the potential for that sort of nonsense rearing up if it occurs to her one day to try to hurt you.
Interesting fact, after our first child was born she informed me that we needed to find a new name instead of "Dad" for the child to call me...because if she heard people calling me Dad then she was worried she would have even more difficulty remembering whether it was me or her father who was present. Yikes.
Welcome to "DSYDIC: The Married Edition", we're all in this together.