Welcome to BPDforums, glad to meet you, sorry you're here...
You're definitely not alone. If we as a forum seem that way sometimes, it's simply that we aren't sure whether each newcomer is specifically looking for "advice" or just to know a dozen of us read their story, or sympathy, or what...so feel free to be blunt if we're misreading you.
Does she have another parent in the picture so she splits one of you into "bad" and the other "good", or are you all there is and you end up serving as both hero and enemy? I infer she's in the 25-40 range and at least currently unmarried but not living near you?
Glad to hear that you not only flexed some backbone today, but that it sounds like it went really well; I hope dinner was at least decent.