lightbulb moment on husband of 7 years

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hello,
After what is hopefully rock bottom, I am now understanding that my husband likely suffers from BPD. I have not spoken to him about it but the more I read, the more convinced I am. I am a people pleaser and recently started going to therapy to help find my own voice again and stand up for myself. My husband is also in therapy as of recent but has not mentioned the actual term BPD. I am looking for tips on how to adjust my behavior to help strengthen our relationship. We have two small children and there is no abuse directed toward the children. He is a wonderful father and can often be a wonderful husband but you know how it goes...
Any tips on first steps in managing this on my end?
thank you,
Koach (strength)

[Koach]

Hello,
After what is hopefully rock bottom, I am now understanding that my husband likely suffers from BPD. I have not spoken to him about it but the more I read, the more convinced I am. I am a people pleaser and recently started going to therapy to help find my own voice again and stand up for myself. My husband is also in therapy as of recent but has not mentioned the actual term BPD. I am looking for tips on how to adjust my behavior to help strengthen our relationship. We have two small children and there is no abuse directed toward the children. He is a wonderful father and can often be a wonderful husband but you know how it goes...
Any tips on first steps in managing this on my end?
thank you,
Koach (strength)

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[Jabiru]

Hi and welcome I'm sorry to hear it feels like rock bottom and hope it gets better soon.

Do you have any recent situations you could share? There's a lessons page with lots of good info.

[once removed]

Any tips on first steps in managing this on my end?

absolutely!

it would help to know what are the biggest, and perhaps most recent points of tension between the two of you.

beyond that, how long have you been married? how old are the children?