Don't know how to communicate with my son

[bpd89898]

Hi Everyone,
My son has BPD and getting worse and we have very difficult time to communicate to each other
and seem like we can't do anything right he is not happy with me and my wife all the time.
Really don't know what to do

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sancho]

Hi bpd89898. I really feel for you and your wife. One of the most difficult things about having a loved one with BPD is the loss of being able to communicate with them.

They seem to have you cornered - whatever you say will be jumped on, rejected, and somehow you will always be the one to blame. It is exhausting - and sad.

I have come to accept that I can't communicate with my BPD dd, and this has been the case for some time now. But it is still funny that it always comes into my mind  to say this or suggest that.

I used to wait for the 'right time' to say things, and I still do to some extent but less so now.

Coming to this site has been a great help to me, the information is great but mostly it is knowing that other people, like yourself and your wife have the same sort of burden that I have. It is hard to explain what it is like to those who don't have this experience.

One thing I have learnt here is to find ways of nourishing yourself and trying to make sure that BPD does not take over your whole life. Keep the three Cs in mind - you didn't Cause this, you can't Cure this and you can't Control it.

Like all of us here you do your best and hopefully you will be able to have a life -you and your wife - as you journey with your son.