21 year old W/BPD, depression/anxiety/Adhd

[Jds]

My daughter who moved out q/ boyfriend who she met online and just got out of jail and has know less than 3 months just told us she is pregnant. She has BPD depression anxiety, adhd. Development delay. She has never held down job. She has worked part time and longest she has worked is 3 months. I am Literally sick about it. She has had multiple hospitalizations and SBT programs. She is no compliant with
Most everything.. This is not something my husband can take on. We’ve always been worried how she is going to navigate life. I am Trying to find  some support from other parents that can help me

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sancho]

Hi Jds. I remember when BPD dd told me the same news. I felt sick in the stomach. When someone can't really look after themselves and knowing that there will be a helpless babe to be cared for - well my mind just went racing ahead to all the possible chaos.

You mention this is not something your husband could take on. Not sure what you mean by 'take on' - do you think it is possible the child will be in your care at some stage?

I am wondering how your dd is responding to the pregnancy. Is she excited, happy, concerned? Is she on meds that she would need to come off? How do you get on with bf?

So many thoughts and questions. It is such a complex situation.

I am wondering if your dd has medical support for her conditions and whether the support will increase around her in caring for her during the pregnancy - and would there be support available other than yourself after the birth.

I am sorry for asking so many questions. I suppose I am responding through my own experience  - which is different for everyone. Hence all the questions.

It is such a watershed moment in the journey with our loved child. I think the only thing that I see as important as I look back is the importance of having other people involved. This can be very difficult to do, but if support is spread it can make such a difference.

I hope you will post again and let us know how you and your family are going?