Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
March 28, 2024, 10:34:23 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: Cat Familiar, EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
Depression = 72% of members
Take the test, read about the implications, and check out the remedies.
111
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Silent treatment  (Read 404 times)
CornishSelkie85
Fewer than 3 Posts
*
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Sibling
Relationship status: Estrangement
Posts: 1


« on: July 18, 2022, 03:47:41 AM »

Hi I am new here, but after 6 months of silent treatment from my sister with BPD I need to reach out for support.
My sister and I have been so close our entire lives, and I can’t understand how she can just cut me off without any explanation.
I tried again to reach out yesterday as it was her birthday and was again met with silence. It’s so painful and I am left questioning what I’ve done and what I could have done differently. I’ve cried so many tears and my children are left confused and upset that their Auntie has just disappeared.
She and my mum had an argument in January and I expressed compassion for my mum (my sister had been really nasty), and she just went cold and turned on me quickly. She hasn’t spoken to me since.
I thought time would heal but I am starting to think she’s not going to come back into my life and I need to let her go
Logged
pursuingJoy
Retired Staff
*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Inlaw
Posts: 1389



« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2022, 03:01:25 PM »

Hi CornishSelkie  Welcome new member (click to insert in post) welcome!

I feel the pain in your post, and your love for your sister. It is so hard when people we love just cut us out completely. It does make you question everything - I can so relate.

People with BPD tend to see things in black and white, you're either all good or all bad. It's possible that when you defended your mom, your sister's abandonment fears were triggered. She painted you all black as a defense, making you out to be a bad person, abandoning you before you could abandon her? Does that ring true? It doesn't make sense to someone who doesn't have BPD, but their thoughts follow a different pattern.

It doesn't happen overnight, but it's ok to let her go. You can't force her to feel any differently than the way she feels right now. She has the right to make the decision she's making because she's an adult. The best thing you can do for your sister is heal. Take time to recoup, do things you love, and feel whole again. Get healthy and well so that when she's ready to talk, you'll be ready. 
Logged

   Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? ~CS Lewis
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!