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Author Topic: Safe to have non-committal relationship with bpd girl?  (Read 254 times)
Curiousgeorge

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Single
Posts: 6


« on: December 04, 2022, 11:18:33 PM »

Let’s say a quite bpd girl is into me.

If I am clear that I want a non-comittal relationship with her, what do you think are the chances that it could work out? By this I mean no moving in together, no future, no marriage, no exclusivity,  no vacations..just pure romance, the initial phase with no responsibilities.

Of course she’ll get more attached and will want exclusivity. But if she agrees, we could have a long term non-comittal relationship where I don’t abandon her unless she wants to. Is this possible?
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SaltyDawg
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Moderately High Conflict Marriage (improving)
Posts: 1239



« Reply #1 on: December 05, 2022, 11:26:22 AM »

If you are attracted to flames of passion, you will eventually get burned.

Are you describing a 'friends with benefits' type situation?  If yes, I would suggest getting a 'Tinder' friend if you want that kind of relationship. 

If she is a true borderline, she will likely feel intense emotion from the connection to you, and everything that you said 'no' to -- she will test those boundaries.
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Silverdash
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Other
Relationship status: Dating
Posts: 59


« Reply #2 on: December 05, 2022, 01:15:49 PM »

Having had a similar scenario, the outcome was not good. He is a treated person with BpD. I am poly with a different primary partner. We defined very clear boundaries. I educated my self on BpD before we started the r/s. However I still got burnt. Even now I am processing the emotional trauma. He self identified as quiet BpD, has a diagnosis and intensive treatment. He seemed very self aware. Nothing will prepare you for the mind games that BpD triggers in the sufferer. If I could go back in time I would plead with my self not to have that r/s. It affected my self esteem very negatively and has caused me so much confusion and hurt.
« Last Edit: December 06, 2022, 02:18:27 PM by Silverdash » Logged
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