20 Common Negative Assumptions in BPD thinking:
1. I will always be alone
2. There is no one who really cares about me, who will be available to help me, and whom I can fall back on.
3. If others really get to know me, they will find me rejectable and will not be able to love me; and they will leave me.
4. I can't manage by myself, I need someone I can fall back on.
5. I have to adapt my needs to other people's wishes, otherwise they will leave me or attack me.
6. I have no control of myself.
7. I can't discipline myself.
8. I don't really know what I want.
9. I need to have complete control of my feelings otherwise things go completely wrong.
10. I am an evil person and I need to be punished for it.
11. If someone fails to keep a promise, that person can no longer be trusted.
12. I will never get what I want.
13. If I trust someone, I run a great risk of getting hurt or disappointed.
14. My feelings and opinions are unfounded.
15. If you comply with someone's request, you run the risk of losing yourself.
16. If you refuse someone's request, you run the risk of losing that person.
17. Other people are evil and abuse you.
18. I'm powerless and vulnerable and I can't protect myself.
19. If other people really get to know me they will find me rejectable.
20. Other people are not willing or helpful.Source: Behaviour Research & Therapy article [only abstract available]
Thanks for posting this. What I find so unbelievably ironic is that for a BPD person, the ultimate fear is abandonment, and yet they do and say things that make it incredibly difficult for their partners to NOT abandon them. It's like the abandonment becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.