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THE PSYCHOLOGY OF PERSONALITY DISORDERS
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Author Topic: BPD BEHAVIORS: Dissociation and Dysphoria  (Read 69462 times)
Serenity.
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« Reply #10 on: January 10, 2008, 06:03:00 PM »

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Another interesting thread.  I too can relate to this.  My xbf specifically told me that he cannot remember 2 years of his childhood.  He has absolutely no recollection.

This IS a very interesting topic especially since ex was diagnosed with dysphoria.

My ex said he couldn't remember many years from his childhood either. He doesn't remember anything before the age of 11 (that's the age he was when he told me his father tried killing himself).

Makes you wonder exactly what went on in that house!

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colonel
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« Reply #11 on: January 11, 2008, 05:46:37 AM »

Hi, I want to know about developing alters while disassociating. I understand the spacing out and detaching thing from stressful situations. I saw and was told about that numerous times with my bp friend. That seems to be a common bp thing. Recently though she was given a diagnosis of Disassociative identity disorder as well as bp and now suddenly after that diagnosis she has alters. Separate identities inside her each with different names and slightly different personalities. It's weird. she doesn't even call herself by her own name now but has made up a new identity. Says the original person, who she actually is before all this crap developed and still is,  couldn't cope went to sleep inside her and never woke up. So now this new identity and others look after her. I'd really love some info on this or comments from anyone that has experienced something similar because at the moment I can't really find much that explains it. I don't even know if it's a real thing or something she's made up, on one level part of me thinks it's made up but I don't know enough info about this form of disassociation to know anything for sure about it.
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Serenity.
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« Reply #12 on: January 17, 2008, 11:09:49 PM »

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I don't even know if it's a real thing or something she's made up, on one level part of me thinks it's made up but I don't know enough info about this form of disassociation to know anything for sure about it.

No, they're in a lot of pain. It's real to them. They're confused and hurt inside. I think when they disocciate they can't deal with the hurt (perceived usually) in front of them. BPD is a serious and very real, painful illness. My heart breaks for my ex but he showed me too much hell to stick around.


Geroldmodel,

Thanks for the info on dissociation. I saw this time and time again, also my ex explained this to me. He said he went to his warehouse to drink as much as he could to deal with his pain when he would bolt out on me to stop his pain.
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geroldmodel
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« Reply #13 on: January 18, 2008, 03:03:58 AM »

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she doesn't even call herself by her own name now but has made up a new identity. Says the original person, who she actually is before all this crap developed and still is,  couldn't cope went to sleep inside her and never woke up. So now this new identity and others look after her. I'd really love some info on this or comments from anyone that has experienced something similar because at the moment I can't really find much that explains it. I don't even know if it's a real thing or something she's made up, on one level part of me thinks it's made up but I don't know enough info about this form of disassociation to know anything for sure about it.

That sounds like Multiple Personality Disorder, which is an extremly rare disorder... the most extreme form of dissociation disorder.
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colonel
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« Reply #14 on: January 19, 2008, 01:38:21 AM »

hey geroldmodel - disasociative identity disorder is the new name for multiple personality. Apparently they disassociate to the extreme so much so that they need new identities or "alter's" to keep them functioning. I know a number of bp's have disasociation in terms of not feeling connected to themselves and numb but mine seems to have taken that to a whole new level. Just another thing for both of us to learn to cope with :smiley
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StayingAfloat
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« Reply #15 on: September 11, 2008, 06:52:12 PM »

Thanks Joanna.  I never ran into this workshop until now.

I've long thought that much of BPD can be credited with dissociation. It seems very apparent to me that our pleasant, loving BPDs have to dissociate in order to rage.  Otherwise, how could they feel ok about themselves while they're obviously causing great harm to the people around them, whom they depend on?

And once they're done raging (or having whatever kind of meltdown), on their way back from the dissociation... they end up dissociating again, because their minds can't cope with how much pain they've caused others.  So they find a way to dissociate from that t0o.  I think that's why it's such a terrible cycle...  BPD causes them pain, they dissociate which causes themselves/others more pain, so they dissociate further.  It really is a black hole that is incredibly difficult for them to climb out of; I can only imagine.

For us nons, it leads to a lot of unresolved feelings of bitterness and resentment, because our feelings never get dealt with by our BPDs.  Because it causes too much pain, and they detach.  And we keep hanging on, hoping that they'll magically take responsibility for all of the terrible treatment they give us.

When really, we need to be taking care of our feelings instead of hoping they will take care our feelings for us.  They can't...
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Peaceful.
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« Reply #16 on: April 10, 2009, 03:46:05 PM »



I wonder if what I was witnessing recently in my wife is dissociation, or if it just some new meds, or the only way that she can remain in control through a difficult time - by checking out?

When talking through mediation or issues with me, she appears to have on a very tranquil mask, slighly monotone, uninterested...not entirely with it.

I plan on doing some research, but just wanted to see what others know about dissociation.



  • It is a violent process, or something subtle?

  • Can it be recognized?

    • Can it be controlled by the person with BPD?

    • Does it last a long, or short time?


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Ruby_Slippers
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« Reply #17 on: April 10, 2009, 03:58:51 PM »

Peaceful; With Therapy, better coping skills and routines, some BPD's can learn to control their dissociative episodes. My husbands events were all stress induced (perceived or real). He would sort of glaze over, start to sway and slow sink to the floor. It was very frightening to witness. Before he was finally diagnosed with BPD we went through several years of medical tests, numerous medications even wearing a heart monitor...no one could find a medical explanation.

At it's worst he was hospitalized with what they diagnosed as transient amnesia. He did not know where he was, who he was or who I was for 4 days. Slowly things came back but not the memory of what happened to him.

I hope this is helpful to you. I will keep you both in my prayers.

Ruby
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Up From Here
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« Reply #18 on: April 10, 2009, 08:19:58 PM »



Thank you for this workshop.

This is helping me understand much more about the things that went on and as more time goes by, and as I read these things, the hurt diminishes with more understanding and compassion takes its place.

As I read through the definitions and mechanics of these dynamics, I can get a better picture of my ex-wife, with her cutting, burning, eating/purging, distorting, etc.  I used to watch her energy shift while processing her thoughts, sometimes mid-sentence, and given that I was going to be the recipient of whatever was coming next I'd go on a kind of alert as I'd never know what "it" would be, until it came and it was pretty unnerving to observe.

This explains these things clearly for me as well as a time when she actually had a different surname for the volatile side of herself that she said, got her through traumatic events earlier in her life.  The surname wasn't tongue-in-cheek at all and was (may still be) a very literal part of her identity and perceptions and she would occasionally ask me to interact with that "other person," by taking with her.  I did lovingly talk with her "other" a couple of times but was pretty uncomfortable doing it as my instincts told me there was more to this than I was aware of nor did I want to be aware of it.  That was my shortcoming and I told her so.  I'm not qualified for this but my heart is going out for the experience and in a new and better understanding not only of my own experience, but of hers as well.

My compassion is growing and I can't thank this place enough for this. 

Again, thank you for this workshop.

UFH

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tired_mom
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« Reply #19 on: September 06, 2009, 12:04:46 PM »

my BPD/PTSD/MDDd (17) has frequent bouts of dissociation, she often says this happens this during therapy sessions and cannot remember what was discussed during that time. she also mentions not remembering her actions or what brought her to a self harm episode. it happens other times as well. this workshop gives  me some insight to what she is experiencing when she dissociates. i have been in her presence and seen her "check out", as i have started to recognize these signs, i try to bring her back to earth, "grounding" its called, by speaking to her in calm manner, to get through with request of her to be aware she is in a disociative state, having her touch something with her fingers etc - which engages tactical sensors(?) in her mind. it only helps when i am near and see what's going on though.

can anyone explain more about Dysphoria? I do not see it addressed really in this thread even though in is in the title of this Workshop.  this term is often linked with my d as well. i have also been reading some about PMDD, as we have been noticing she typically (5 times out of 7) ends up in the hospital near or during the onset of her menstrual cycle.

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