Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
May 26, 2016, 05:36:42 AM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Moderators: Kwamina, lbjnltx, livednlearned, once removed
Member support team: eeks, Notwendy, Suzn, Turkish
  Directory Guidelines Glossary   Boards   Help Please Donate Login Register  
BOOK: Journey of Abandonment Every day there are people who have lost a romantic relationship and feel as if life has lost its purpose. Susan Anderson, MSW, tells us that abandonment is about loss of love and that crucial loss of connectedness. This loss often involves breakup, betrayal, aloneness. This is an important book for members going through the end of a relationship.
Pages: [1] 2  All   Go Down
Author Topic: BPD and child-like emotions  (Read 4178 times)
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 123

« on: January 02, 2010, 02:34:04 PM »

This is something I was recalling yesterday and I wanted to see if anyone else experienced this with his/her BPD partner.  For the 20 years that I have known my uBPDexh, he would very often act childish about things like being hungry or tired - so much so that he would nearly throw a tantrum if he didn't have an opportunity to eat as soon as he was hungry or would get mean and nasty when he would get over-tired.  I don't know why I was so surprised by this childish behavior each and every time.  I can't tell you how many vacations, family outings, shopping trips, etc. have been made miserable because of his "tantrums".  Would any "normal" adult act this way?  Is this typical of a BPD adult?  I know that their emotions are on a child-like level, but this was just bizarre to me. 
Offline Offline

Posts: 106

« Reply #1 on: January 02, 2010, 02:49:49 PM »

mine was the same ...she ruined every special time, holiday or get together with her tantrums. it's like they just can't be... they can't just let things be ok . they can not except that things are not always perfect. it's a sickness.
Offline Offline

Posts: 213

« Reply #2 on: January 02, 2010, 04:07:59 PM »

Yeah I can third, that motion. My exBPDgf, we have S5, he is more intellectual than she is sometimes. Sometimes I just have to laugh at the absurdity and walk away or de-ride her about her behaviour now(She does not like this, I do not give a fig!)

If she acts like a child, I will treat her so.

Reckon due to the dysfunctional and abusive family background, BPD are robbed of childhood, and this inner child appears in moments of stress and anxiety, as adults.
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Person in your life: Romantic partner
Posts: 639

« Reply #3 on: January 02, 2010, 04:11:02 PM »

It is interesting that you bring this up.  Mine gets very upset if she is hungry.  It is bizarre.  I figured it had something to do with her family and being deprived of food by her mother or some other food-related issue.  But it does make sense - it could be that these people simply have not developed as much as the rest of us.  Hunger is simply not dealt with like an adult.
GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board?
This board is for members with failed or failing relationships that want to detach from their relationship and relationship wounds. If you are still analyzing the decision to stay, please post on Undecided: Staying or Leaving
All members living with a pwBPD should learn to use the Stop the Bleeding tools - boundaries, timeouts and other basic tools - to better manage the day to day interactions with your partner. If you have questions on any of the tools, feel free to go over to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner and ask for help. :-)
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 169

« Reply #4 on: January 02, 2010, 04:28:25 PM »

Unfortunately, I see such HUGE issues around food and meals with my uBPDDIL.  Not only does she want immediate gratification ... there are 3 kids and a newborn in the mix that make her behavior even more bizarre.  I have actually watched her eat before anyone else (kids included), take larger portions leaving less to go around, and for some reason, shopping for food is such a production. She has very little capacity to nourish others so cooking a meal is not on her priority list.  I suspect the "everything revolves around me" is at play.
Offline Offline

Posts: 60

« Reply #5 on: January 02, 2010, 06:07:03 PM »

We have a similar issue. I have been able to discuss it with my pwBPD as a sensitivity to low blood sugar. He is beginning to hear me when I say,' how is your blood sugar',' have you eaten lately'...or I keep snacks and food with me when we are away in the car and offer them up if he hasn't eaten in a while. It is beginning to pay off, avoid tantrums and bring awareness to the blow ups if he hasn't eaten. If I don't keep him fed he eats a lot fo sugar which also is a problem.

I'm not alway great aroudn food myslef but My problemis I use it to selgf medicate and eat too much!
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 202

« Reply #6 on: January 02, 2010, 07:09:59 PM »

Oh boy does this ring true!  If she was not fed at the first moment of hunger (all 100 pounds of her) she was going to die and it was my fault for depriving her of food.

But better:  Whenever we were on a road trip, she would wait until we passed an exit on a long stretch to say that she had to use a bathroom.  Then she would claim that she told me ten miles back (before the last exit).  The next thirty miles would be hell!  I thought that I was being negligent until I started proving to myself that she was lying about telling me before the exit (she had a penchant for pulling this stunt when a sign would indicate "Next Exit 32 miles...)  It was easier to console the children on this one!

We nons get blamed even for their own bodily functions!
Offline Offline

Gender: Male
Posts: 2854

Two years out and getting better all the time!

« Reply #7 on: January 02, 2010, 07:49:21 PM »

Ditto on all the posts about being hungry. The older my uBPDw gets, the younger she acts when it comes to hunger. I work out of a home office, and her office is adjacent to mine. I can be busily at work and she will pipe up "I'm hungry!". I'm thinking "yeah, so what? make yourself something to eat." She'll sit there and let herself get hungrier and hungrier. Sometimes she will just skip eating because nobody catered to her, then for the next meal she will be ravenous, and crabby as well. If I make something for lunch, I have to pass through her office to reach mine. She will always stop me and say "What do you have there?", "Can I have a bite?" It reminds me when the kids were little... they always wanted a bite of what you had.

"If your're going through hell, keep going..." Winston Churchill
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 2513

Living for the I Am....

« Reply #8 on: January 03, 2010, 01:49:42 AM »

Mine was the same way about hunger. He also complained a lot about body aches, pains and sores but then pretended he was macho at the same time. When he had a serious injury he wouldn't say a word-just suffered through the pain.
Very strange.

C12P21 "and she lived happily ever after.."
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
Posts: 335

« Reply #9 on: January 03, 2010, 08:52:17 AM »

Yes mine did this too about food and sleep. She got quite nasty if she didn't sleep or eat when she wanted to. I always thought it was me being selfish when I used to say can't you wait a while?
Links and Information

Your Account
Moderation Appeal
Become a Sponsor
Sponsorship Account

Ending Cycle of Conflict
Triggering and Wisemind
Values and Boundaries
Becoming more empathetic
On-Line CBT Program
>> More Tools

What is BPD - Family
What is BPD - Romantic
What is BPD - Child
End the Cycle of Conflict
Validation Skills
Empathy Skills
Parental Alienation
Dialectal Dilemma (audio)

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Diagnosis of BPD
Treatment of BPD
Series: My Child
Series: My Parent/Sibling
Series: My Significant Other
Series: My Spouse
Series: My Failing Romance

Endorsed Books
Other Staff Reviews
Member Reviews

Symptoms of BPD
A Clinical Perspective
Treatment of BPD
Leaving a Partner
Sexual Addiction
Healthy Relationships

die Symptome einer Borderline-Persönlichkeitsstörung

Top 50 Questions
Messageboard Guidelines

History (Wikipedia)
Professional Endorsements
Policy and Disclaimers

Facebook News

Google+ (Skip)
Video Blog
Helpful External Links
Domestic Violence Crisis
Suicidal Ideation

Pages: [1] 2  All   Go Up
Jump to:  

Top Spacer
Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2015, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!