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Think About It.... It is very important to talk to children about anger, about what they see in the world, and to evaluate the effects of the behavior they observe. Otherwise, their observations become the lesson itself.~ Jane Middelton-Moz, Ph.D., LCSW, Ultimate Guide to Transforming Anger
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Author Topic: It's better to be overweight than suicidal? Right?  (Read 2057 times)
heronbird
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« Reply #30 on: February 18, 2012, 04:42:03 PM »

Well done for giving up the smoking, is it hard for you? I gave up when I was young and put on 2 stone very quickly.
15Lb is not too bad.
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keep strong and look after yourself

Battle Weary
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« Reply #31 on: February 18, 2012, 06:27:07 PM »

Reality,

My dd meets in some way all nine of the BPD diagnostic criteria so I find it rather amazing this dx wasn't suggested earlier.  I research things a lot and cannot believe I missed it myself because hallucinations are in some literature mentioned in connection with BPD.  Joel Paris, whom I've read since stumbling on the dx, says it's about 30% in his patients, and he states he wishes the ninth diagnostic criterion actually spelled out hallucinations in addition to dissociative episodes.  He is not specific unfortuantely about the hallucination vs pseudo hallucinations.  The latter are hallucinations into which the person has insight, that is, they know the hallucinations are not real.  Someone who is psychotic believes the hallucinations are real, and medication often helps.  If medication helped for pseudo-hallucinations, I'd certainly do that as they so overwhelm her but I don't think it does. 

As for your view that medications don't help, Joel Paris is in your corner on that one.  Friedel, however, is more of a medication advocate.  Then there are the co-morbid disorders heronbird mentions that often can be helped by medication.  My dd's therapist still stands by a co-morbid anxiety disorder, but I have to say that after nine months of various SSRIs that have not helped, I am really doubting that dx. 

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Reality
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« Reply #32 on: February 18, 2012, 08:15:44 PM »

Battle Weary
Do the hallucinations occur just before sleep or before waking?  These are the hypnagogic hallucinations I mentioned, if that is a help.
Yes, I am a great fan of Joel Paris.  I know that he can be consulted at his office in Montreal, if you would ever be interested.
I am not surprised that you didn't have an earlier dx.  BPD is not on the medical radar yet.  Blaise Aguirre makes that point as well in one of his NEA-BPD conference talks on You Tube.
I am finding DBT as well as Schema Therapy to be most helpful, in addressing the deficits suffered by pwBPDs. 
Reality
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« Reply #33 on: February 18, 2012, 08:58:59 PM »

Reality,
She won't tell me too much about the hallucinations, but I do know they happen outside of falling asleep and waking up.  She talks to doctors about them, but not in front of me.  I recently spent two intensive weeks trying to get her into a DBT program, and in the end she bowed out because she won't do group therapy--I believe she is too embarrassed by the hallucinations and is afraid she'll have to discuss them in group.  I wish I could get her schema focused therapy as that is done one on one, but there is only one practicioner in our area and he won't see people her age.  Right now I'd settle for getting her into any therapist at all--she hasn't been since October (although she'll go to her psychiatrist) and is deteriorating.
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ShadesofGray
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« Reply #34 on: February 18, 2012, 09:38:36 PM »

Is she exercising? I see many plus-sized women exercising at the gym, and they look strong, healthy, and confident. Exercising will help burn off the extra calories that she is consuming due to her increase in hunger.
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“If we are facing in the right direction, all we have to do is keep on walking.” ~Buddhist Proverb
almostvegan
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« Reply #35 on: February 18, 2012, 10:06:37 PM »

Gamegirl: of course you lOst weight and had more energy once you limited simple carbohydrates! Simple carbs release a fast sugar rush to the bloodstream which metabolize quickly and leave you feeling tired and irritated and craving more ! Anything that digests slower will have a better effect on weight control and mood regulation.
I stress complex carbs for my family but BPDdd  often choses unwisely.
Peace and blessings

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Reality
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« Reply #36 on: February 18, 2012, 10:29:39 PM »

Battle Weary
My understanding of the DBT group is that it is, basically, a skills training session, an emphasis on education, rather than sitting around discussing one's personal issues. 
My BPDs23 was reluctant to do the DBT group as well, because he has had some negative experiences in other group situations, but when I explained that it was skills training to learn about strategies to deal with distress and strong emotions, he decided to give it a try.  There is mindfulness included, which I think appeals to many young people as well.  DBT was explained to him as a presentation of possible strategies and skills and he could try them out and see what works best for him.  It is not a navel-gazing kind of approach at all.  I bet your daughter might enjoy it, if it is well done. 
Having a therapist concurrently serves the purpose of personal discussion of what the pwBPD has learned and how it might apply to his/her own situation.  The therapy is the application of the skills and strategies discussed in the DBT group. 
DBT is not psychoanalytical in it's approach. 
Reality 
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almostvegan
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« Reply #37 on: February 19, 2012, 08:56:47 AM »

My daughter went through the DBT series but refused to
Practice the skills set which is why it wasn't effective for her. If your child is willing to be an active participant it's a therapy that I've heard wonderful things about with fantastic results. Good luck.
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Battle Weary
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« Reply #38 on: February 19, 2012, 09:25:36 AM »

I recently read something along the lines of therapy is a goal, not a given.  Just six weeks ago, I thought if I could just find a program that would accept her, I could rest easy.  But with her last minute refusal to do it because of group therapy, I now understand the wisdom of the person who said this.  If there is a next time, I will prepare the people doing the intake of the necessity of assuring her up front that DBT groups are classes and there is no sharing of personal experiences expected or solicited.
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Reality
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« Reply #39 on: February 19, 2012, 10:44:01 AM »

Battle Weary
Good idea!  I think that is why Radical Acceptance is such a key piece of DBT, because our pwBPDs have suffered invalidation and they need to be treated very respectfully, with understanding that their behaviours make sense given their highly sensitive emotions.  The deal with DBT is that the present behaviours make sense, but they are not helpful long-term or for living a good life and so it is helpful to try to find new strategies and skills that will give our pwBPDs better options.  DBT is very non-judgmental.  The woman who developed it, Marsha Linehan, suffered from BPD herself and she had a horrendous treatment experience as a young person, because no-one understood how to help her really.  Because of her own Zen practices, she has added some very cool mindfulness pieces, which interestingly are very au courant with the general population of healthy young people nowadays.  It is a therapy developed by someone with a highly sensitive temperament, so if the leaders are well-trained, it should be enjoyable, intriguing as well as helpful. 
In my BPDs23's first session, they did a simple mindfulness practice, noticing the experience of drinking a cup of tea.  My son, who is a royal pain in the neck, trust me, quite enjoyed the whole thing.
Bottom line, if an experience isn't enjoyable and meaningful, there ain't no learning happening.
I am hoping your dear daughter can access some cool and helpful therapy.  I am also wondering if the pseudo hallucinations will lessen once she has mastered some skills at regulating her highly sensitive emotions.  I can understand why the doctors don't want to medicate for psychosis, if they understand the hallucinations are not psychotic in nature.  In a way, I think you were lucky that the doctors at John Hopkins were careful, as I have heard horror stories of permanent damage suffered by young people who were mis-medicated, by well-respected doctors.
I think BPD can mimic schizophrenia alright, but it is a very different deal.   You could tell your daughter that she has the diagnosis with the good prognosis!  I hate to tell all our BPDs, but the reality is that they can get better!  If they work it, slowly but surely.
Reality
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