Feeling guilty

[Think About It....]

Week end started well until sbxh turned up at my friend's door... This friend happens to be supervising undirect contact granted 3 weeks ago. She was really upset and contacted the police. So far I really don't have a problem and fully understand why she did it but I had to break the news to our son. I am so angry and feeling so responsible for my friend being strressed out, I have no family around and really need the few friends I have to help out but he knows it too... And how can I disrupt their lives? It sickens me to see his lack of consideration for our son too why would you stop contact so easily? What yet again I suppose he isn't the one stopping the contact my friend is ... Or isn't she?
 

[French Prof]

Week end started well until sbxh turned up at my friend's door... This friend happens to be supervising undirect contact granted 3 weeks ago. She was really upset and contacted the police. So far I really don't have a problem and fully understand why she did it but I had to break the news to our son. I am so angry and feeling so responsible for my friend being strressed out, I have no family around and really need the few friends I have to help out but he knows it too... And how can I disrupt their lives? It sickens me to see his lack of consideration for our son too why would you stop contact so easily? What yet again I suppose he isn't the one stopping the contact my friend is ... Or isn't she?
 

[Matt]

What does the court order say about his contact - it has to be supervised, but it can be supervised by anybody?

Why not use a professional service that does supervision like this?  Then your friends wouldn't be affected - they can just be your friends.

[French Prof]

Unfortunately such services don't exist over here which is why this friend had volunteered. Any way he since then turned up at her house twicw more. Social services, police and sollicitors have been informed. We're back in court in June where further contact should  be discussed so I suppose I just have to wait and see.

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[Matt]

So he started with unsupervised contact but he screwed that up.

Then he had supervised contact but he screwed that up.

Now it's time for no contact for awhile, and see if he gets treatment.  Where I live, the court can order someone to be diagnosed and treated, but it's not enforced.  For example, my ex was diagnosed and was ordered to get psychotherapy, but she hasn't done it, and there is no penalty for that.

But if he is ordered to be diagnosed and treated, and that is a condition for further contact, it might end the drama.