Does the BPD get worse when you marry them?

[Think About It...]

more for BPDs to lose

This makes sense in my case. I know that she also want to marry me... that wont happen anytime soon.. if ever.
Find it weird that she actually want to marry me when there is so much she is not happy with.


Andy

[andywho]

more for BPDs to lose

This makes sense in my case. I know that she also want to marry me... that wont happen anytime soon.. if ever.
Find it weird that she actually want to marry me when there is so much she is not happy with.


Andy

[Simpleone]

I can tell you that after we got married, within DAYS it was already falling apart. After a roller-coaster marriage that lasted 2 years almost to the day, he left.
His 1st marriage last 10 years, and he DEFINITELY put her through the ringer- she ended up in the hospital TWICE and went through a long period of depression where she couldnt get out of bed.
He was engaged after that to a spitfire woman in a relationship that was not healthy.
Then he met me.
I think you hit the nail on the head in another post when you said marriage, etc, is a diversion tactic to avoid their inner turmoil. This is what he does.
He left me for another woman, and I'm assuming he put her through the ringer, too. He was unemployed and moved into her home- lasted 6 months. I'm sure he's been through a couple more women since- I don't keep track anymore as I just dont care.
Just to add a twist to this- he doesnt divorce. His first wife had to force it- and after spending thousands trying to divorce him, I gave up. We are still married. What kind of person leaves and doesnt wrap things up? A borderline mess.

[GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board?]

GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Are you on the right board? This board is for analyzing and making the decision to either continue working on your relationship or to leave it. If you have already please advance to "L3 Leaving" or the "L4 Staying" board. All members living with a pwBPD should learn to use the Stop the Bleeding tools - boundaries, timeouts and other basic tools - to better manage the day to day interactions with your partner. If you have questions on any of the tools, feel free to go over to Staying: Improving a Relationship with a Borderline Partner and ask for help. :-)