Hi formflier, d15 has been in therapy on and off for a number of years as she has borne the brunt of BPDw's illness form an early age. It's something I organised & BPDw has never been happy with it as she has felt threatended. It has undoubtedly helped d15 detach & realise that she is not a bad person despite all the crap she gets. Also d15 has an ADHD diagnosis as a result of this (FYI not on medication) which I think has helped as d15's untidiness has been a constant trigger for BPDw. The fact that d15 may genuinely need help with this has taken some pressure off. s13 did see a therapist a few years ago for other reasons which you may remember from my PM. He is mum's favourite and been much more balanced over the years and quite mature for his age. However now he is 13 and starting to assert his independence I think BPDw is having a lot of trouble with it, I'm wondering how I help him with this as I can see a future "co-dependent" in the making.
My thinking is that it's not you that need to worry about helping him... .but you that need to worry about getting him and mum to help... .and stand aside.
Let mum be threatened by a T... .not you. You are just following a professionals advice. If mum has problems with this... .then the family T and mum's T need to talk... .to coordinate a way to deal with this.
You participate... but don't lead the effort. That way you can "just be following the T's advice.
If mum doesn't like it... .she can talk to the T.
That kind of thing.
You have a complex situation on your hand. Lots of individual issues that need to be coordinated... .
Thoughts?
