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Author Topic: Do I still have to let S2 go with his dad?  (Read 366 times)
mrsthomps

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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 35



« on: September 24, 2014, 01:30:09 PM »

I posted a few days ago about my dBPDex being charged with parental kidnapping. I applied for an ex parte and it was not immediately granted but we were given a hearing date for 10/7 for review.

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=233694.msg12497380#msg12497380

I guess my question is, his weekend is coming up. Am I obligated to allow my son to go with him for his visitation and just hope I'll be allowed to pick him up Sunday? My attorney is in and out of the office all week and he hasn't gotten back with me yet.
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momtara
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« Reply #1 on: September 24, 2014, 02:02:26 PM »

Unbelievable that they put this off.  You can ask on avvo.com or ask your L - is there someone who can supervise him?  A family member?

Can you get a temporary restraining order?  Don't know how it works in your state, but in mine they're not hard to get and are granted right away - and you go before a judge, so you can ask.   Then let him worry about getting out of it next time, or you are free to drop it if you want.  Bring your evidence and be strong.

I think you should talk to the police.  This is a weird situation.  He just tried to kidnap your 2 year old, who can't defend himself.  It seems like you and the others around you are downplaying it.  The man needs help. 
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mrsthomps

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« Reply #2 on: September 24, 2014, 02:16:10 PM »

Unbelievable that they put this off.  You can ask on avvo.com or ask your L - is there someone who can supervise him?  A family member?

Can you get a temporary restraining order?  Don't know how it works in your state, but in mine they're not hard to get and are granted right away - and you go before a judge, so you can ask.   Then let him worry about getting out of it next time, or you are free to drop it if you want.  Bring your evidence and be strong.

I think you should talk to the police.  This is a weird situation.  He just tried to kidnap your 2 year old, who can't defend himself.  It seems like you and the others around you are downplaying it.  The man needs help. 

I can assure you that I'm NOT downplaying it. In our state you can put in a request for a temp restraining order and a judge will review your written request. If it is declined, you have a trial a few weeks later to determine validity of your claims. The problem I have is our existing order. I'm afraid he will contact the police and tell them that I'm interfering with his parenting time and they will tell me to hand over my son. (He's done it before.)

There isn't an official record available for the charges yet. I keep watching casenet like a hawk and nothing is coming up.
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momtara
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« Reply #3 on: September 24, 2014, 02:27:06 PM »

This is crazy!  What if he does it again?  Why are they not worried?

I've heard the police usually won't get involved in a situation in which you withhold your kids ... .but then, I don't want that hurting you if you go into court.

I'd say that you should say he's sick and withhold him, but that may not help you if he shows up to get him anyway.  So... .hmmm... .again, you might talk to the officers who were involved in the situation and see if they have thoughts.
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livednlearned
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« Reply #4 on: September 24, 2014, 03:45:39 PM »

There isn't an official record available for the charges yet. I keep watching casenet like a hawk and nothing is coming up.

My L says the most important person in the courtroom is the clerk of court. Can you find out if there is a case manager, or who the clerk is and ask?

Where you live has a lot to do with how to handle this. And who your L is -- mine gave me the advice to always protect S13 first and we would sort things out in court. But I built a lot of trust up with her, so she knew how I responded to things, and vice versa. I also have an excellent judge, and he has seen enough of N/BPDx in action to know he was a loose cannon.

You really need your L to get back to you. Leave messages and write emails. There must be an associate or someone who can respond. We can tell you how things worked in our cases, and how it works where we live, but you need your L to answer this. For example, my ex always seems to pull his stunts on Fridays after my L has gone for the day. She told me to not take S13 over there if I was worried N/BPDx had been severely inebriated or disordered based on text messages or emails, or if I felt S13 was in danger in any way. She knew that if I did it, there would be a paper trail to point to, and also knew that I was very cautious about filing emergency suspension of visitation. She is also an excellent trial attorney and knows how to bring her A game to the court room. This is one of those situations where your L really does matter, and his or her advice is important to pay attention to.

One thing to keep in mind is that "kidnapping" is a legal term. Same as "abduction." Ask your L to explain what each one is, and whether your H did either under the laws in your state.
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Breathe.
momtara
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« Reply #5 on: September 24, 2014, 03:53:48 PM »

Good advice, L and L!

Wish I could find a lawyer as good as yours.
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