BS Crazy
Fewer than 3 Posts
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What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Posts: 1
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« on: November 20, 2014, 03:49:19 PM » |
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I'm learning to know that when ... .I'm Shouted at and Demanded to LEAVE, It is the last thing she wants me to do. I can not leave the premises, and it either means to give her time and space for reflection - OR - it means NOT to leave her side, and that she needs to be showered with reassurances that I will never leave her.
I'm learning to know that when ... .she say's mean hateful things, that it is not about me, or our relationship. It is the crazy chaotic Intense Painful feelings wreaking havoc inside of her, slicing it's way through the fragile fibers of whats left of her mind and emotions, and it is finding it's way out of her, and that my compassion for her defuses it over time, and time is relative to her feelings.
I'm learning how to rethink my black and white, and am making room for grey. I'm learning that while tough love sounds rational for some people in different situations, it is not the best tool for BPD. I am learning that to love someone unconditionally is not so hard because of all the other parts of her that are amazing, beautiful, unique, loving, kind, inspiring, raw, truthful ... .I am learning that we all have a role to play and her's is much harder than mine. She has to experience the Intense Pain First Hand, while all's I have to do is Hold her hand and allow it to pass.
BPD does not define my Woman and her beautiful mind, it is but one aspect of many in her life. I have learned that for me to truly live, I choose my True Love on her worst day, than my best day without her.
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