Partner making suicidal gestures

[Bali]

Hello, this is my first time here.

I recently entered in to a relationship with a charming, gorgeous man. He was very open with me in the beginning about some challenges in his past. Stormy relationships with family, partners... .aggressive tendencies and and drug use. When I met him he said he was 1 year sober and had worked through many of the challenges of his past. Long story short, his moods are quite unstable. This creates a push pull on my part that I know he finds difficult but he cannot understand how his behaviors contribute. I started to pull away and he started hinting at suicide. Over the weekend he made two not specific threats but saying things like "you'll never hear form me again, " and "where I am going you cannot go." Yesterday, he said something similar and then turned off his phone. Despite my feeling that I was being manipulated, I called his family for help. They said that he has done this many times before and they refused to check on him. I live farther away but panicked. I found him asleep.  We talked for hours and he agreed to get some help. I am looking for the best advise on how to remove myself from this unhealthy situation and also deal with the quilt that I am abandoning him. He has basically no one left. He does not have a diagnosis of BPD but his symptoms follow those on the website to a T.   

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[waverider]

 

Hi Bali

Unfortunately talk of self harm and suicide is a common feature of many BPD relationships, there can be many reasons for it. Often real despair, sometimes just as a tool to express severity of their emotions.

We have a workshop which discusses this. Have a read and post back with any questions you may have

Link

TOOLS: Dealing with threats of Suicide and Suicide Attempts

Waverider