Boyfriend of 4 years ended things out of nowhere

[Rockbottom91]

I need some advice.

I met my czech boyfriend 4 years ago and we fell in love so fast, the kind of love where you get tattoos of each other's name on you after 3 months! (Never thought i would be the kind of girl) anyway we moved in together really fast and we were obsessed with each other. In these four years he moved back to my hometown with me, we met in a beautiful place where we were both working together. It was hard to leave such a beautiful place as he had been there for 3-4 years and hard for me to leave to but I missed my family and he came with me. He had a partnership visa on me so that he could find work wherever he wanted without having to be sponsored. We had our ups and downs and doubts about him really wanting to be with me as he always seemed like he wanted to be somewhere else. Everytime I addressed these issue though, the answer always the same- no matter what happens I could never lose you, you're my best friend. So I gave my heart more and more to him as he constantly reassured me. We travelled the world together we worked around the world together, Turkey, england, scotland in some beautiful places. It was us against the world. We would spend time apart form time to time which I thought was good thing as it made us more in love and look forward to see each other again. We both talked about the future we both wanted the same things. I explored his own country with him, met his family which was hard as they didn't speak English! But what I'm trying to say is we were so serious about each other I knew we could get through anything. Recently I took time to join my friend on a 3 months trip to South East asia. He was positive about this as it would give him the opportunity to get some of his own things done too. Things were so great, we talked every day, we supported each other, the love was there more than ever. I decided to leave asia earlier and visit my family back home but still return to him at the orginal time. Things were still happy, we talked bout the future, counting down the days until I didn't hear from him for a couple of days. I wasn't concerned as he is busy with a tattoo apprenticeship in the czech Republic and was getting really into his art. So after 2 days I was kind of like hey what's going on are you going to break up with me or something(as a joke) and his reply... .I don't know... Well my heart broke in half right then, I never saw it coming and I couldn't believe it! He also told me he cheated on me which he eventually admitted wasn't true but he was saying it to get me to hate him so I can move on! Well just a few days prior he was talking about having children with me! Which is something he was always reluctant about which just makes the whole thing even weirder. He says he can't be in a relationship with anyone he says he doesnt even have time to call his mum and he doesn't want anyone to be "waiting" for him and all of sudden the word "we" scares him and makes him feel claustrophobic. He is just so involved in his art which I understand. I would never want to get in the way of that but why would he want to give up on love in order to be alone. He still loves me I know that. It's just easy since I'm away to just put it in the back of his mind. I'm so so so hurt. Everything i thought I knew, all my plans for the future are gone and I'm back at home and feel like I've gone backwards and he has used me for 4 years until he now doesn't need me anymore and has just forgotten all about me. He also broke up with me and lied to me about cheating all online over messages! Do I go to cZech Republic all the way from nz? I need closure and I can't do that when my brain and heart were just missing him and counting down the days to see him just days ago, and now I have to forget those feelings! I need to see him and get him to explain things properly. It's too much to just give up because he said so! Help :-( :'(

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[JRT]

RB

Wow, this is really tough. I am very sorry to hear that you are going through all of this. To make matters worse, I think that I am reading that he is in the Czech Republic while you are in New Zealand... .that makes it very difficult to effect and salvation for the relationship or closure. What is it that you want to do? Do you want to save the relationship or only get closure and move on?