GK thanks, this is how I see it, but sometimes my H sees it as me rejecting him and not wanting to be with him. I have explained it, but past that, it would be JADEing. In the end, it's about us getting the sleep we need.
I figured he wouldn't always see it that way. I ran into a very interesting and thoughtful discussion of abuse in relationships (Which did not specifically cite any mental illness, but reminded me of dozens of things I've read here in the past)... .here's a great quote:
people who abuse genuinely feel that if they tell a partner to do something and the partner doesn’t do it, they’re the ones being abused. I’ve talked to so many people who complain, “My partner isn’t doing what I tell them to!” It hurts me when my partner doesn’t let me control them! That’s abuse! My partner is abusing me by not obeying me!
And the sad part is that however clearly you see this happening, you get this concept past your partner's defenses. The best you can do is enforce your own boundaries to protect yourself... .as you are doing, Notwendy.
