What do you do to keep sane during the bad times?

[foggydew]

Had a really wonderful 6 weeks of normality and closeness... .then we went on holiday and things began to change. My driving was atrocious, he was scared, I couldn't handle the car... .on the way back I got fed up and stupidly said 'ok, you do it then'. He was erratic, couldn't handle the (rented car) and scraped a wall, as well as scaring me to death by driving too fast and almost touching other vehicles. He's normally a good driver. The weather was bad, we couldn't do all he had planned... .  There was silent treatment, he left me when he got stressed out at the airport. Just disappeared. Blamed me for being slow and stupid.

Well, we have a kind of partnership but it's no longer a romantic relationship. He started writing to a girl on a dating site, and when we got back, met her. She is all he has ever wanted, apparently. I tried to tell him to go slowly ( he has a history of quickly broken relationships). Now he says I'm jealous, he's not my property; I have to get used to being number 2. I try to encourage him in the relationship ... .today he called me and said he was panicking because she is coming to stay over - could I come and help him clean his kitchen? (his flat is really a bit messy). So I did. I also told him I wanted him to pay for the damage on the rented car. He tried to bargain and get the price down, offering me a third and a bottle of wine. I stuck out for the full price and he paid up.

Called his mother and asked if he could come for the weekend and bring me. She didn't really want me to come but he insisted... .he hadn't even asked me. I've told him I'm not going.

Now I have to call her and get that sorted.

I started to do some repairs to my floor (which he had laid badly). He kept telling me it was not his responsibility, so I agreed with him and was getting someone else to do it. Suddely he wants to do it but makes lists and tells me exactly what preparations I have to make and that he will not do it all. Rolling his eyes every time I say anything at all. Showing strange behaviour, jumping in his thoughts and calling me stupid when I can't follow. And then again gives me a light hug.

Yes, I can cope with these pretty small things really. But I just feel so tired and down. Can't talk with anyone about it because they don't understand. It's hard enough him finding someone else, which is actually a good thing, but dealing with all the flak around just drags me down.

What do you all do to relax and get away from such stuff? I can't really sleep well at the moment and just seem to be turning it over and over.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[waverider]

Step away.

You don't have to call his mum, that was his doing nothing to do with you.

If he is making the floor hard work, let someone else do it.

His RS with someone else is his business not yours

You keep sane by letting him do his stuff and you go do yours.

Then when he starts to create drama with the new RS stay out of it.

You are rescuing and mothering him too much, especially as you are not in a full RS with him