I hope writing that out helped. Sometimes just writing something down, is therapeutic to me. I've done a lot of what I call "compromising" too, but I've realized in the past that I compromised so much that I barely ever made decisions solely on what "I" like. I'm doing better at that now, and I think once you have awareness of it, it's much easier to call a halt to it. It's a balance, like anything else. All relationships all for compromise(problem with BPD is it is rarely mutual), but we can't compromise to the point where we never make choices for our own happiness, or what suits our own taste.
If I were you, I'd go out and get highlights in my hair, and bedeck myself in a bunch of fun jewelry I'm sitting here with both, and even my controlling BPDh, would never cross me on my jewelry!
