fatigue

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Has anyone had problems with your kids being very tired when coming from the ex?

My daughter always seems to be worn out, when I give her a nap she sleeps for 3 hrs. I wonder if all the chaos and drama from my ex wears my daughter out. she didn't use to sleep that long at naps

[Eco]

Has anyone had problems with your kids being very tired when coming from the ex?

My daughter always seems to be worn out, when I give her a nap she sleeps for 3 hrs. I wonder if all the chaos and drama from my ex wears my daughter out. she didn't use to sleep that long at naps

[scraps66]

I'm having this right now but I feel it has to do with the transition from school schedule to summer schedule.  But, that also being the case the kids are with ex all day long so it may be a combo of both things.  I notice our S10 being much more withdrawn and despondent in the last two weeks and it may have to do with longer exposure time to exuBPD/NPD wacko, nut job, sociopath, psychopath... .

[bravhart1]

Yes, that is what we deal with every time we get SD6 back from mom. She lets her stay up as late as she wants, and even try's to get her to stay awake to finish watching a movie with mom till late, after 11.

She also only gets to sleep in bed with mom which I think causes her to wake often. Between the poor eating habits at moms (lots of sugar) and up too late/co-sleeping we get back a pile of kid. We actually have a clause in thee order that says that the week before school starts SD has to be in our care so she can be well rested and prepared. No one questioned it.

It also means we often get a kiddo that's on the verge of or is sick from being worn down. I'm sure the stress doesn't help that either.

We just get her to bed as early as possible when she comes back, make sure she gets all her vitamins as well as some extra immunity boosters for the first couple days and try to keep her on as regimented a schedule as we can.

Of course BPDm always sends emails saying that she got a sick kiddo from us because she see the pattern of kiddo getting sick with her and so she must project that, but she is delusional so  

[Turkish]

Maybe that's it, or maybe not. You're keeping an eye on things.

At her age, it goes in cycles as they grow, so it might just be a normal nap cycle.

[Eco]

I'm having this right now but I feel it has to do with the transition from school schedule to summer schedule.  But, that also being the case the kids are with ex all day long so it may be a combo of both things.  I notice our S10 being much more withdrawn and despondent in the last two weeks and it may have to do with longer exposure time to exuBPD/NPD wacko, nut job, sociopath, psychopath... .

The drama and craziness has to be draining, im drained when I deal with my ex after 30 min and when we were together I was a complete mess physically, mentally and emotionally.

Between the poor eating habits at moms (lots of sugar)

My ex is a nut when it comes to food, my daughter has a cavity and my ex blames me because I give my daughter juice

Of course BPDm always sends emails saying that she got a sick kiddo from us because she see the pattern of kiddo getting sick with her and so she must project that, but she is delusional so  rolleyes

, its funny(not really) how that works

Maybe that's it, or maybe not. You're keeping an eye on things.

At her age, it goes in cycles as they grow, so it might just be a normal nap cycle.

very true, hopefully that's what it is

[scraps66]

Pretty much any of my exposure to ex ends with some level of exhaustion or frustration.  Our most recent experience with coparent counseling was certainly like that and it makes progress difficult.  There is always this very large consideration, despite the value I this type of therapy, for the amount of BS one can withstand.  The simplest of things take so much time to get through when dealing with a BP and the percentages are that nothing "sticks" at all or for a very long time and the patterns of the past get reinstated. 

It is exhausting and one of the reasons I chose to get myself in better physical shape.  To endure the punishment better and as an outlet for stress.  I can also tell when I'm not exercising that it has a direct affect on my outlook and my ability to reason.

[whirlpoollife]

I get kids back on a late evening. The next day they are very tired.  So much so it's like losing a day with them just so they can get some rest. 

Kids are now teens and stay up later , but when they were in kindergarten , their teacher would tell me to please let S or D, go to bed earlier because S or D falls asleep in class. This  is when I was married to xh. I had pleaded with him to let the kids go to bed at a reasonable time. To him I was telling him what to do and that was forbidden. 

To kids its  daddy letting  me stay up late while selfish mom makes me go to bed.

He loved the power of sleep deprivation . You have to live it to believe it.

I guess if kids are sleeping then they are not giving the disorderd parent their attention.