Hugs me while I'm eating?

[spacemadness]

Does anyone else have a partner who hugs you while you're chewing/eating? That sounds kinda funny. 

My husband has a weird habit of either hugging or kissing me while I have a mouthful of food, then getting angry when I don't hug/kiss him back, because I'm trying to swallow my food and not choke.

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[formflier]

Does anyone else have a partner who hugs you while you're chewing/eating? That sounds kinda funny. 

My husband has a weird habit of either hugging or kissing me while I have a mouthful of food, then getting angry when I don't hug/kiss him back, because I'm trying to swallow my food and not choke.

Wow... .huh?  New one to me. 

"Help me understand how I am supposed to hug and swallow at the same time?"

Let us know what he says... .

I'm curious... .

FF

[Surg_Bear]

This drives me crazy.

It is totally borderline:  They know you hate it.  You respond the same way every time, which is to reject their effort.  They feel rejected, which supports their notion that you are black.

The dance has begun.

This is an easy way my wife can confirm that she is trying to put forth the efforts to improve our physical intimacy, and I am actually the one who is rejecting.

This way, she can go on thinking that the reason we don't have sex is because I reject her.

It's crazy-making at its best.

YES, kissing me while I have food in my mouth drives me crazy.

I believe they do this to create conflict.  To ensure that their world remains cold, rejecting and full of traumatic conflict.  There is an unconscious motivation to create conflict- even when there is peace.  If you are eating, you are not fighting and maintaining conflict.  This is a way for them to say,"stop it! argue with me instead."

Surg_Bear

[ColdEthyl]

Surg Bear has the grasp of it. My H will do this thing sometimes where I am sitting on the couch and he will come lay down next to me and grind his head into my arm to get me to lift it so he can put his head down on my lap. I don't mind him lying on my lap, but the way he does it irritates me. It's forced.

He really only does this if he's had a bad day, or really upset about something. I think he does it that way so if I get irritated, he can say "See! I try to love you and you reject me!"

It's to make the environment fits his feelings.

[an0ught]

Lack of respect and dare I say oral fixation?

It sounds there is some work on boundaries ahead of you. Be careful giving inconsistent responses (the way you describe your reactions you may well give them) as this could provide intermittent re-enforcement (which make it harder to get a boundary in place).