Hurting

[Gizmogirl]

This is probably not a good time to post for the first time. Last night was so bad that I'm an emotional wreck. I'm mentally exhausted. I've been with him 10 months and I have really tried. Now I don't feel like there is anything left of me. Last night I really wished someone would have walked into my apartment with a gun and shot me in the head. That's how bad I just wanted it to be over. I don't really want to do it myself, so I guess that was just a fantasy. I won't go into all the ridiculous things that happened, but I don't even know what started it, or why he ended up so upset. But that's not unusual at all. I'm just so tired, I can't even explain how I feel right now. I think what it boils down to today is that I was under the impression that when someone talks sweet after they act crazy, and then you make love with them, that's making up. WRONG! I woke up, to my surprise, to the same b___y, nasty person that I was dealing with last night. That really, really hurts. I really need to see my therapist, but every time I have an appointment, I have to go through hell. He says I shouldn't have to talk to anybody but him about my problems. Like I could actually tell him what's really on my mind without him losing it. End of rope here, folks.

:'(

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Daniell85]

 

Welcome to BPD family. So sorry you find yourself here, it sounds like things have really been effecting you 

These relationships can be really exhausting and put your life in crises.

Have you had a chance to read The Lessons on the right of this page?

What would you like to see happen with your relationship?

Are you going to be able to see your therapist soon?

We are here, ask anything you like, and please do give us a broader outline of your relationship. Hopefully we can help you out. 

[Gizmogirl]

Thank you. I'm glad there is a place where we can talk to others going through the same things. I probably should have been in the unsure about staying category. Yesterday was pure hell. I don't know if I can go through another day like that one.