Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
April 26, 2024, 06:10:31 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
Cat Familiar
,
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Survey: How do you compare?
Adult Children Sensitivity
67% are highly sensitive
Romantic Break-ups
73% have five or more recycles
Physical Hitting
66% of members were hit
Depression Test
61% of members are moderate-severe
108
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
Starting new T during crisis?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: Starting new T during crisis? (Read 391 times)
thisagain
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 408
Starting new T during crisis?
«
on:
September 28, 2015, 06:35:31 PM »
Have you ever started seeing a new therapist while your partner was actively dysregulating really intensely and you needed immediate help to cope? How do you even explain the whole story and your partner's behavior to a new therapist? I have this whole list of absolutely mindblowing incidents, I don't even know where to start.
I was in individual T for the past three years or so, at first to address family issues that I really had resolved, and then to deal with my uBPDgf opening some old wounds and inflicting many, many new ones. Toward the end we worked a lot on boundaries and protecting myself so that my career and safe living situation aren't affected by my partner's roller-coaster.
Then I moved to another state. My T and I agreed that I'd made a lot of progress and didn't really need to continue, unless my partner started dysregulating regularly again, the T said.
So of course the move triggered my partner to dysregulate and display some truly crazymaking behavior (see my other thread about her pretending to have my serious illness -- plus breaking up with me and changing her mind the next day, accusing me of having mental problems and treating her so badly it makes her want to kill herself, etc).
I have an appointment with a new T tomorrow who deals with trauma (I've been having some disturbing nightmares and panic attacks about the relationship) and also coping with chronic illness. I thought it would be a good idea to see someone who could help me work on new things and make my life better instead of just stop it from getting worse.
I just don't even know what to say when I go in. I'm really torn up about the latest episode with the flippant disease appropriation. I need immediate help processing and coping with that just so that I can get through a day at work without breaking down. But I'm afraid the new T won't really understand why it's so painful, because she doesn't have the backstory of how I suffered with the illness pre-diagnosis or all of the horrible things I've had to deal with in this relationship. I'm afraid she won't even believe me about the things my partner has done.
My previous T was with me through all of it; the illness getting progressively more disabling, me struggling for diagnosis, me recovering from the FOO issues and then my partner coming in and reinforcing all of the negative messages that I had just managed to get over, all of the worst and most heartbreaking dysregulation episodes. I called her today but she hasn't called back and I'm not sure she can talk with me much for liability and/or payment reasons.
I'm also scared of acting like my partner, or seeming like I'm the disordered one and painting HER black. Because she's been telling me for months that I'm the one with the mental problems, and sometimes she can be very convincing :'(
Logged
PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES
This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.
formflier
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076
Re: Starting new T during crisis?
«
Reply #1 on:
September 29, 2015, 07:24:26 AM »
Quote from: thisagain on September 28, 2015, 06:35:31 PM
Because she's been telling me for months that I'm the one with the mental problems, and sometimes she can be very convincing :'(
Just tell your story... .focus more on you than her. But she is part of the dynamic.
Your T will help guide you.
In fact... .I would tell the above thing to your T.
Remember... .this person is in your corner.
FF
Logged
thisagain
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 408
Re: Starting new T during crisis?
«
Reply #2 on:
September 29, 2015, 08:02:59 AM »
Thanks FF it's such a relief to have people in my corner!
Logged
TheRealJongoBong
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: married
Posts: 267
Re: Starting new T during crisis?
«
Reply #3 on:
September 29, 2015, 08:12:40 AM »
I encourage you to set all your stories down on paper. It's very therapeutic and you can hand it off to your T so that they have the whole story.
Logged
formflier
Retired Staff
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 19076
Re: Starting new T during crisis?
«
Reply #4 on:
September 29, 2015, 09:01:50 AM »
Quote from: TheRealJongoBong on September 29, 2015, 08:12:40 AM
I encourage you to set all your stories down on paper. It's very therapeutic and you can hand it off to your T so that they have the whole story.
Solid idea. Especially for someone that admits to being in crisis or high stress. Likelihood of missing a detail is high... .forgetting something.
FF
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
> Topic:
Starting new T during crisis?
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...