Please help

[topperdoy]

We think our adult child is suffering from BPD in addition to a chronic disabling pain from Chrohn's disease. He is an adult living with us. We feel manipulated and dominated and controlled by whatever he feels he needs for his illness. The illness controls him and he controls us. He wants us to help him seek alternative treatment out of town since all the medical avenues in town haven't worked. He says he will die and become a cripple if we don't help. This evening my husband and our son came to blows. We are afraid however much money we give him for his alternatives won't ever be enough until we have run though all we have and we are on the brink of retirement. We know his behavior is outrageous and we are getting afraid of him living here with us but he has no income and can't work and has nowhere to go. Drs are concerned about his health and he says we have to save him. We are depressed and scared and overwhelmed. Going on six years now.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[michmom]

Welcome. I sincerely sympathize with you and the situation you find yourself in. Do you and your son have therapists?  The tools on the right margin can help you.  As overwhelming as this is, the more knowledge you have and the more skills you learn, the more you can help yourself and your son. We may not be able to solve all the issues today but we can stop making things worse for ourselves. Hang in there. some days we can just take one moment at a time.

[bpdmom1]

Can he qualify for SSI or SSDI?  Do you have insurance that will consider coverage for alternate therapies?