Crisis prevention

[wendydarling]

Hi

My 27yr old daughter recently commenced DBT. She was last hospitalised in February (self harm) and spent three weeks in a woman's crisis home. April was a positive month for her all looked good. Over the last six weeks she has battled with depression, trying to live a normal routine as best she can with much success. As she describes it - half of her wants to get well and half does not, its a constant battle to fight off the negative thoughts that lead to self harm, giving up.

When she met her DBT therapist last Friday he suggested she contact the crisis team - she has three appointments this week, they will do a home visit if needed. Her therapist has also offered her time in the crisis safe house if she feels unsafe. She has been advised to double her amlysophide meds when she feels the need.

Last week she had a friend visit for a few days and drank alcohol which is a red flag  for her (think this has happened a number of times recently). She is booking an appointment to see her alcohol counsellor this week.

Last night she chose some Lush products (bath bombs) for soothing baths, they arrive Monday.

This is the first time we have been in a position to plan for joined up crisis prevention (mainly due to her being in DBT and able to speak to the right people), prior to this was the call from the hospital before knowing a crisis was imminent.  That's progress.

While we both feel comfort from the great support, my stomach is doing somersaults while I know if we get through this period it's a significant moment towards recovery.

Staying strong and positive.

WDx

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Lollypop]

Hi WD

It was always going to come wasn't it, that first "big" challenge. How brilliant that your daughter can see and feel what's going on - surely that's half the battle. She's growing and it sounds to me as if she's testing herself, trying to just live normally. She'll work out what works and what doesn't - I'm referring to socialising. Once she gets through this temporary situation, her confidence (and yours) will improve.  Her support network is there for her to lean on at the time of her greatest need. Hopefully, the meds and support will help her and she'll soon feel stronger.

Thanks so much for posting as I'm sure it provides hope for many. Stay strong WD!

L

[lbjnltx]

The mindfulness training in DBT seems to be working for your daughter.  She is paying attention to her feelings and assessing them. She is reaching out for support and assessing her options.  This is all very good stuff!

[wendydarling]

Thanks LP and Lbj that's very helpful of you both.  It is good stuff indeed and we shall both grow in confidence.  She has been kitten sitting (another soother for her) for a friend so I have seen little of her this weekend. News of our neighbour moving after 27 years, she is very sad and anxious, something for us to work through. 

I plan to work at home a couple of days this week to be there for her, validate her efforts. Last night I ordered a new bed set, duvet and pillows, its a present for her 'new, clean and tidy' room (yes she cleared the dump, her one sheet is thread bare). She is working on soothing, I thought this may help, she liked my suggestion.

Onwards we go 

WDx







   

[lbjnltx]

Having the responsibility of the kitten and the feelings of being needed, depended on, trusted, and the fact they are so darn cute is wonderful for your daughter to experience.

A very meaningful distraction from ruminating thoughts and the regular routines of life can disrupt unhealthy patterns.  Good stuff again!

lbj

[Bright Day Mom]

Hi WD,

Baby steps, this is all good. I know the uneasiness you are feeling in your stomach. We recently began having our D (who's in RTC) with overnight stays and I am very uneasy. It is normal to feel as we all grow and recover together.

Good luck, keep posting, you are doing great!

[wendydarling]

Hi Bright Day Mom, thank you for your support. Glad to hear your daughter is progressing, earning home visits from RTC, small steps.  I'm finding deep breathing provides me quick relief. I lie on the floor for 5 minutes and enjoy the pull of gravity and empty my mind!

Daughter's been uncommunicative so far this week, on the brief occasions I have seen her. I see her struggles in her face. I respect talking to me is not right for her at this point.  She has not spoken of voices, though when she has in the past she listens to music and covers herself in a blanket head to foot. She is keeping herself very occupied to avoid ruminating thoughts, played a game on the ipad while eating lunch.

Monday and Tuesday she attended DBT, last night I arrived home to find a prescription prescribed by her GP for diazepam (16x2mg) on the kitchen noticeboard.  So she has visited her GP, who she gets on with well and knows her history. Back in March when she returned from the crisis home her GP prescribed diazepam to help with the anxiety. Daughter was not happy when the GP refused a further prescription on the grounds it is addictive and time to work at addressing the anxiety through skills. I'm surprised the prescription is 16, previously it was 4.

She has just left to see her friend (who has the kitten) and then has an appointment with the crisis team.

In three days she has achieved so much. Keep going my lovely! I think she will be very relieved to have the diazepam should she need it.

The new bedding has arrived.

Lbj, our 16 year old cat died February 2015, they were very close. We have often spoken of her getting a new cat, it was always our intention to. I think the time is right, she mentioned it over the weekend.  This time the responsibility is hers, food, medical insurance, fees and cat sitters. Of course I'll contribute - as I'll enjoy the cat too, while she is still living at home. She is considering rehoming an adult cat, her preference of TWO (siblings) I'm afraid isn't going to happen!

Her very good friend who calls her Pickle   has persuaded her to go on holiday for a week in the sun, in a couple of weeks time. While daughter said she did not want to go because of how she was feeling her friend said that's why she its best to go ... .live life as normal using her skills. Bless her!

I'm finding it very cathartic writing this, gaining perspective - we are all doing our best.

[Bright Day Mom]

Love the 5 min on the floor am going to try that tonight!

It is very, very good she is keeping herself occupied and that she saw her gp and got the rx, just in case - a security blanket of sorts.  New bedding and possible new kitty is terrific a new beginning for all!  I hope she keeps her plans for the friend's get a away, will be good for you to re-charge too!

Yes, we are all doing our best, gotta keep the momentum going!

[wendydarling]

Hope 

Last Thursday daughter met her alcohol counsel (first time in 3 weeks) and Friday the crisis team (3rd time this week).

I have been away visiting my 90yr old mother since Friday returning this Monday evening. 

Previously my daughter self harmed when I was away. Not this time, she put on her running shoes (last worn in January), kept focused, ate healthily and turned down social invites, preferring to stay home, calm. I called her once, last night.

She is working hard, I'm walking with her.

WDx
BDM - did you enjoy lying on the floor 

[Bright Day Mom]

WD,

I am so happy for both of you!  Your girl is making great strides, she is lucky having you by her side.

BTW, the floor is great... .my husband came home, saw me laying on the floor and I think he thought I was having a heart attack!  We had a good laugh!

[wendydarling]

Hi Bright Day Mom  thanks! glad to hear lying on the floor was a positive experience and closed with you and H in laughter.  You speak of anxiety ahead of your daughter's home visits, we anticipate the worst don't we.  Recently when I recognise I feel anxious I replace that feeling with my love and respect for my daughter - I'm finding it an incredibly empowering and positive experience. Turning anxiety on its head seems to work for me 

So daughter attended the 3 crisis team appointments, found them helpful (while on the DBT waiting list, she found them useless ... .a barrier to DBT, a fully joined up care service, many here may recognise this) and departed on her holiday, she returns Saturday. We had a long talk before she departed, I say talk, she spoke and I listened, she thanked me for listening as its hard for her to collate her thoughts of what she wants to share and then deliver ... .

Meanwhile my daughter updated her blog the day before she departed on holiday ... .last updated months ago, seems she goes there when in real crisis to communicate what she is unable to say, work out next steps.  I found her update Sunday and my heart sank big time feeling her pain ... .however reading again today I see her ambition to be well, her hurdles - I'm replacing my anxiety and fear with my love and support, she is leading the way, as she knows best.

Everyone is welcome to PM me if you'd find it helpful to learn from my daughter, I'll send you the link.

Best wishes to everyone

WDx

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Bright Day Mom]

Hi WD

Glad to hear your daughter kept her team apts and her plans to go away on holiday, that is fantastic.  It is so unfortunate having to wait for DBT what a shame!

I like how you are turning anxiety on it's head.  I've recently gotten back to running in the mornings as I feel it helps clear my head, reduce my anxiety and does wonders for the bathing suit!  The idea came to me in the middle of the night; I've always felt like a better mom when I had a good morning workout.

Hopefully your daughter is able to enjoy her holiday and you can some much deserved rest!

Have a bright day

[wendydarling]

Thanks Bright Day. Congratulations for getting your running shoes out of the back of the cupboard. I hope your daughter is progressing. Sorry I was not clear, daughter fortunately commenced DBT early June and while she was on the waiting list benefited from around 12 weeks groups skills sessions.

Daughter spent the week up to the holiday running every morning and evening and preparing and eating healthy food, she wanted to feel fit, it was bikini driven too. She had a great time and the depression lifted, she felt contentment, the first time in a long, long time. She practised mindfulness and radical acceptance. They drank a lot of cocktails  . It was a stress free relaxing time, she left her worries at home. I wonder if she took diazepam, forgot to ask.

She is frightened depression will return and is triggered now she is home. She is using her skills and running, taking it day by day.

I wonder which of the above shifted her depression, or if it was a combination, or all. I'll ask her opinion when I get the opportune moment. For sure when the depression lifts she is able to make thoughtful decisions to manage her life. Depression paralyses her, a spiral descent.

She successfully managed the crisis, that said crisis is closed and for now the depression is gone.

Yippee

[Bright Day Mom]

Hi Wendy - So glad your D had a wonderful holiday. 

It is fantastic that her depression has lifted... .you're probably right a combo of exercise, diet, and being away w/friends.  The running for me takes away a lot of the stress and makes me a happier mom (at least that's what the kids tell me!)

I pray our girls continue in the right direction.