New relationship

[London77]

Hi, been in a relationship with a guy who has BPD and I'm completely overwhelmed. The passion I thought was fantastic to begin with but it is turning into a very controlling relationship. I keep forgetting my phone at home, if he cant get hold of me, he thinks I'm having an affair or I'm dead! By the time I get to see him, he's a nervous wreck, shaking and angry. He isn't violent but the tension is relentless. If I say that I need an early night, he thinks I'm abandoning him and don't want to be with him. I'm exhausted. Can anyone relate?

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[waverider]

Hi London77

It seems as though your partner suffers extreme abandonment issues. Indeed this is very common.

How do you react when he pressures you like this?

There is a lot we can do to stop making it worse than it needs to be.

You are not alone in feeling these pressures.

[BestVersionOfMe]

I am so sorry you are going through this and Waverider is right, he has severe abandonment issues.  When he can't reach you it takes him to a bad place and as a result he can't handle his extreme emotions very well.  None of this is personal to you by the way, it is his own defense mechanisms that he has developed from childhood to now.  Are you currently living together, I couldn't quite tell from the post.