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Author Topic: PERSPECTIVES: Self respect and our sense of ourselves  (Read 6302 times)
qkslvrgirl
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« Reply #10 on: January 20, 2014, 06:34:05 AM »

Hi Gidget - I wrote my previous post on this topic three and a half years ago - and I have made my life a success by my standards. Your words indicate you are aware of your situation and are healing yourself from within. You can do this!

One thing I've learned is to let the manipulators be accountable for what they say and do - which means that I refuse to create any excuses for their bad behaviors.

As a result of no longer being the peacemaker, they change behaviors; and I go ahead and do what I want on my schedule. I do not need or welcome abuse in my life. It is my responsibility to be happy and shed any victim roles: That means awareness of my self-talk and breaking out of self-imposed limiting (false) beliefs. It sounds like you are on a good path to embracing your best life.

 Doing the right thing - Quicksilver Girl
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maxen
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« Reply #11 on: January 20, 2014, 08:21:41 AM »

When we trust their interpretation of things, we wind up hurting ourselves  cry

Why do we trust the perceptions of someone who is mentally ill?

very trenchantly put!
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Gidget
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« Reply #12 on: January 21, 2014, 04:48:39 AM »

Hi,

 I haven't been on in a while. I have been what I would call by myself doing a lot of self reflecting. I started see a counselor actually I found her to help with my communication with my daughter. She has tons of experience in DBT.

What I have to come and realize that so much of my own childhood experiences played such a big role in how I related and disciplined and reacted with my daughter. I in a few session and after reading the book CoDependent No More. I am I am and have been very much CoDependent. I guess my experience growing up in a family with alcohol issues marrying an alcoholic which I have divorced from when my daughter was very young. I have and always was the Peacekeeper the Caretaker the fixer yet I realized I couldn't fix anything or anyone. I truly had no boundaries.

I have began to feel so much freer and less guilty about saying no speaking up and not allowing other people to use and abuse me. I have definitely played an active role in the game of drama and life around me. for the first time I am doing the work on me. I am no longer losing sleep over issues I can not change I am fixing myself. I have been and extremely loving mother who took a lot. I also have a great husband although I realize I allowed his unhealthy form of communication make me also dance.

I decided to look at everyone in my life told them I will no longer do the dance if they didn't want to live and communicate in a mentally healthy way I will no longer allow them to effect me emotionally mentally or physically.

OMG setting those boundaries feel great I have gotten some of the best sleep in a long time.  And what changes I am starting to see from the people around me that have made me crazy or should I say I allowed to!
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