Hi Gidget - I wrote my previous post on this topic three and a half years ago - and I have made my life a success by my standards. Your words indicate you are aware of your situation and are healing yourself from within. You can do this!
One thing I've learned is to let the manipulators be accountable for what they say and do - which means that I refuse to create any excuses for their bad behaviors.
As a result of no longer being the peacemaker, they change behaviors; and I go ahead and do what I want on my schedule. I do not need or welcome abuse in my life. It is my responsibility to be happy and shed any victim roles: That means awareness of my self-talk and breaking out of self-imposed limiting (false) beliefs. It sounds like you are on a good path to embracing your best life.
- Quicksilver Girl