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Title: How can I love someone who I don't trust? Post by: DogMan75 on June 27, 2013, 10:55:05 AM .
Title: Re: How can I love someone who I don't trust? Post by: GreenMango on June 27, 2013, 01:16:34 PM Man of little words. :)
Trust is delicate. Takes time to build but is easily broken. What do you need to build trust again? Whats going on that is eroding it? Title: Re: How can I love someone who I don't trust? Post by: DogMan75 on July 01, 2013, 10:42:50 PM She will lie to me to avoid confrontation, to conceal facts or deeds she knows would upset me.
She'll do it over relatively minor stuff. What happens when we get to the big stuff? Title: Re: How can I love someone who I don't trust? Post by: GreenMango on July 02, 2013, 12:25:39 AM I don't really know. Each person is different. I usually look at what they are doing currently - and figure that's what they will do.
It's a good question to ask yourself though and give lots of thought to what you can accept and what you can't. :) Title: Re: How can I love someone who I don't trust? Post by: myjade84 on July 02, 2013, 02:47:16 AM Trust is the second most important aspect in a relationship. Without it, the couple will have endless suspicions and worries that could lead to arguments and misunderstandings.
Title: Re: How can I love someone who I don't trust? Post by: goldylamont on July 02, 2013, 03:34:13 AM What happens when we get to the big stuff? bigger lies it's good at least that you can see the lies now to evaluate things and figure out what is going on. i never suspected my exgf was lying until after our split and i could see how she would lie to others and also to me. and then things made much more sense to me; how she would always accuse me of lying or untrustworthy were because this was par for course for her, so in her eyes i must be doing the same thing. after some time i'm able to look back at some things i was doing that caused her to really flare up. i was doing things because i felt like i should be able to if she trusted me, and felt i deserved to be trusted. i felt i earned it not just by my actions but also by me feelings. however later i also realized that a lot of these things i was doing not really because of trust, but because i was testing the waters for "bigger things" as you alluded to. if i couldn't have an adult conversation about smaller issues we were dealing with then, what would happen when children and finances were involved later down the line? bigger issues Title: Re: How can I love someone who I don't trust? Post by: Ishenuts on July 02, 2013, 08:29:59 AM There were red flags around lying with my uNPDexH prior to the marriage. At that time, I thought love would conquer all! But it doesn't. I never fully trusted him afterwards, and it made my 11 years with him hell. Trust is much too important to me because I try to be honest in all aspects of my life. I caught him in so many lies - blatant and lies of omission. Looking back, I should've walked away at the first lie. It would've saved me pain then, and in the future. (We share custody of our twins, and he makes my life unbearable most days!)
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