What happens when we get to the big stuff?
bigger lies
it's good at least that you can see the lies now to evaluate things and figure out what is going on. i never suspected my exgf was lying until after our split and i could see how she would lie to others and also to me. and then things made much more sense to me; how she would always accuse me of lying or untrustworthy were because this was par for course for her, so in her eyes i must be doing the same thing.
after some time i'm able to look back at some things i was doing that caused her to really flare up. i was doing things because i felt like i should be able to if she trusted me, and felt i deserved to be trusted. i felt i earned it not just by my actions but also by me feelings. however later i also realized that a lot of these things i was doing not really because of trust, but because i was testing the waters for "bigger things" as you alluded to. if i couldn't have an adult conversation about smaller issues we were dealing with then, what would happen when children and finances were involved later down the line? bigger issues
