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I think this is the last post that I'm going to write about my situation. I'll come back from time to time to help others get through their pain here because I owe a lot for all the support I received since last year.

Regarding my ex... .What a useless, dysfunctional, manipulative, lying, abusive, cruel, smearing, disgusting, rotten, foul, crazy piece of you know what. It's been a full year since she dumped me, made up lies and smeared me, got me banned from volunteering at a dog rescue where I volunteered. She made up lies about abuse and ruined my reputation.  She treated me with such cruelty.

After trying to reach out to her a few times in the past year and with no response - I'm done with this awful person.  There are some little triggers popping in since it happened this month last year but boy do I realize how disgusting she is.  What an ugly person. The worst kind of person.

I'm glad she's gone.  I despise how she treated me and I hoped for reconciliation or an apology.  Or for her to clear my name from her lies.  No. Always the victim.

I'm moving forward with life.  I grew so much this past year.  I don't consider her a gift as some on here think of their ex's. I think of her as someone who would have destroyed me but failed.

I tried to think in terms of forgiveness and did get close for a while but lying about abuse is just so disgusting.  Screw her, I won.

I have such empathy and compassion for every one of you who feels pain and is suffering. There is a long journey that is so very hard, but so very possible.  And one we truly get stronger from. We are stronger than they are.  Thank God for that.  

Congratulations! Your emotions are honest and totally valid and I applaud you.  YES it is okay to finally realize what awful people these are, and it really shows that you have moved on.  We do not all need to forgive, we all handle these things in our own way. As long as we can heal, do what makes you comfortable.

JP... .good for you... .stay far far away from her and on the path to health and happiness... .

You deserve it my friend. ... .   :)

hi, i totally get what you're saying about lying about abuse ~ that must be such a difficult thing for you. 

my own xBPDgf came just shy of using the word "abuse" (AFAIK),but i think she implied it implictly by telling peoplesuch things as i was hitting on her, wouldn't leave her alone, pressed her for sex, was stalking her, blah blah. the truth i understand now is she was not only lying but projecting.  projecting all the things she did to me and perhaps it's the same with your BPDx?  maybe she felt so much internal shame about the way SHE abused YOU that she twisted it around and projected that you abused her?  the human mind is amazing.  the BPD mind is even more amazinger!

the thing about forgiveness is that it's primarily for YOU not the other person, b/c carrying negative emotions inside is toxic to YOU. 

it sounds like you've worked out a balance and  have reached a high level of healing and closure ~ congratulations!

@jp,

i'm glad you reached a point where you can get away from the boards for a while... .being too reliant on them can be overwhelming... .

hope the best for you, and carry on life maybe with scars so you can remember to know better, but not open wounds so that it affects your life negatively... .

glad you go through the worst of it all... .