I tried to think in terms of forgiveness and did get close for a while but lying about abuse is just so disgusting. Screw her, I won.
I have such empathy and compassion for every one of you who feels pain and is suffering. There is a long journey that is so very hard, but so very possible. And one we truly get stronger from. We are stronger than they are. Thank God for that.
hi, i totally get what you're saying about lying about abuse ~ that must be such a difficult thing for you.
my own xBPDgf came just shy of using the word "abuse" (AFAIK),but i think she implied it implictly by telling peoplesuch things as i was hitting on her, wouldn't leave her alone, pressed her for sex, was stalking her, blah blah. the truth i understand now is she was not only lying but projecting. projecting all the things she did to me and perhaps it's the same with your BPDx? maybe she felt so much internal shame about the way SHE abused YOU that she twisted it around and projected that you abused her? the human mind is amazing. the BPD mind is even more amazinger!
the thing about forgiveness is that it's primarily for YOU not the other person, b/c carrying negative emotions inside is toxic to YOU.
it sounds like you've worked out a balance and have reached a high level of healing and closure ~ congratulations!