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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: suffering_parent on January 13, 2014, 03:35:46 PM



Title: custody and divorce done
Post by: suffering_parent on January 13, 2014, 03:35:46 PM
My trial went to court today.   My now exwife lost pretty much everything.   She wasn't able to hide her BPD and crazy allegations from the court.

I was awarded full custody and she has 4 supervised visits per year.

I feel sad for her, but she brought this upon herself.   The order also doesn't her allow her mother, the kids grandma to see them.   She is super abusive.

It turned out very well for me.   It is sad and joyous at the same time.


Title: Re: custody and divorce done
Post by: Waddams on January 13, 2014, 03:51:19 PM
It's got to be a huge relief and weight lifted off your shoulders.  Now you can turn to focusing on the kids and what's next for building a better life!

Congratulations!


Title: Re: custody and divorce done
Post by: ugghh on January 13, 2014, 05:34:11 PM
Glad you had a good outcome


Title: Re: custody and divorce done
Post by: Nope on January 13, 2014, 06:59:23 PM
Congratulations SP. It's always nice to hear when someone manages to successfully navigate the court system on behalf of their children.  |iiii


Title: Re: custody and divorce done
Post by: livednlearned on January 13, 2014, 07:00:57 PM
I think I recall you had two custody cases in two countries? Is everything settled in both? Seems to me the one is Canada was bogus, and that you're in the U.S?

I ended up with sole custody too, primarily because N/BPDx could not contain his raging. He threatened the parenting coordinator, insulted his own attorney, threatened my attorney, and from the sounds of his psychiatric evaluation, he didn't tone it down a bit for the psychiatrist.

Way back in the beginning of all this my therapist told me N/BPDx didn't want S12.  :'( I just can't wrap my head around that, no matter how hard I try. I don't understand. It's like N/BPDx did everything he could to lose custody. Sounds like your ex was following the same script.

It's sad, but it's a relief too. My ex has figured out a way to keep the drama going, unfortunately. Amazing how much chaos a person is allowed to generate using the court system.

Anyway, congratulations. Thanks for letting us know. I hope your kids are doing ok.  






Title: Re: custody and divorce done
Post by: suffering_parent on January 13, 2014, 07:09:15 PM
Congratulations SP. It's always nice to hear when someone manages to successfully navigate the court system on behalf of their children.  |iiii

I was fortunate that I had a very good guardian ad litem.   My ex was really crazy and could not hide it.   She did so many stupid things... .

My biggest piece of evidence was recording her phone conversations with the kids.   They were so inappropriate.  Blaming me, talking about court, talking about her boyfriend etc...

Document everything and record everything.



Title: Re: custody and divorce done
Post by: suffering_parent on January 13, 2014, 07:58:46 PM
I think I recall you had two custody cases in two countries? Is everything settled in both? Seems to me the one is Canada was bogus, and that you're in the U.S?

I ended up with sole custody too, primarily because N/BPDx could not contain his raging. He threatened the parenting coordinator, insulted his own attorney, threatened my attorney, and from the sounds of his psychiatric evaluation, he didn't tone it down a bit for the psychiatrist.

Way back in the beginning of all this my therapist told me N/BPDx didn't want S12.  :'( I just can't wrap my head around that, no matter how hard I try. I don't understand. It's like N/BPDx did everything he could to lose custody. Sounds like your ex was following the same script.

It's sad, but it's a relief too. My ex has figured out a way to keep the drama going, unfortunately. Amazing how much chaos a person is allowed to generate using the court system.

Anyway, congratulations. Thanks for letting us know. I hope your kids are doing ok.  

I still have a case in Canada open.   It should get dismissed.   I think she filed for divorce up there also.   I don't think you can get divorced twice.

It helps when they can't control their rage.


Title: Re: custody and divorce done
Post by: livednlearned on January 13, 2014, 09:23:45 PM
It helps when they can't control their rage.

I feel a thousand feelings reading that.

It's a hard-fought, battle weary but true statement.



Title: Re: custody and divorce done
Post by: Nope on January 14, 2014, 06:53:38 AM
I was fortunate that I had a very good guardian ad litem.   My ex was really crazy and could not hide it.   She did so many stupid things... .

My biggest piece of evidence was recording her phone conversations with the kids.   They were so inappropriate.  Blaming me, talking about court, talking about her boyfriend etc...

Document everything and record everything.

We were told by our L that none of the recordings of the kids talking to their BPDmom were admissible. But we have plenty of recordings of my SO trying to co-parent with her and her raging and lying. We also have independent evidence that proves a lot of lies. Unfortunately you are right that the crazier they are the easier it is to get action from the court.


Title: Re: custody and divorce done
Post by: DontPanic on January 14, 2014, 07:44:07 AM
Glad to hear that you won and boy I get the hollowness of the victory. You can feel good in knowing that for your kids will do better without all that chaos in their lives. I hope you and your children do well and have a happy and rewarding life.

Cheers