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I was curious with this one?

My ex-BPD would sometimes shift her tone of voice, it almost became very child like, very wierd.  Early on, I thought it was cute, because it didn't happen too much while were friends. But, then when I started to see her mannerisms, facial expressions, lack of social awareness it became very uncomfortable.  Especially, when she became shy or embarrassed about something, the child-like voice would come out... .

Anyone else deal with the changing voice and other stuff, that felt like the person you were with was turning into a kid? 

Yes big time

Everyones tone of voice will change now and then but my ex "s was a little different

It was like there were a few different people going on

I have not experienced this bfore with anyone

Hey corraline this is JB can you please tell me how to post I figured out the reply thing which I am doing now but I can't figure out how to post a story of my own... . thanks or anyone?

Jb

Go to mesage board

Look for new topic on right on top and youll find it

Hope you are ok

Corraline I'm ok last night was rough but I suppose everyday is a charge in the healing direction, I am still just dumbfounded how

BPD's can do this to people as if people are just cannon fodder to them. But I guess knowing the how is as close to why as I will ever get... .

Yes, absolutely a change in voice, but also other physical things.  His lip would twitch.  He could smile a certain way with a little twitch in the corner, and I immediately knew what was coming next.  Gives me chills just to think about it.  Change in his eyes too.  Too scary to go back there and think about much this morning. 

yes I've noticed the change in voice like she was a little girl and needed help

I would notice this as well.  The child like voice would come out when my ex was relaxed and comfortable. 

However as others noted when the eyes changed I knew what was going to happen next.

Yes, I notice this too.  If he is angry with me he answers in one way, if he is speaking to his ex wife in another, like totally bored way.  When he is really angry he screws up his face like a cartoon character - I only wish I could laugh at it, his eyes narrow and flash - vile!  Sometimes when he is angry and doesn't want to hear me, he makes childlike noises - nnanannanana etc.

Yes, the eyes too.  Sometimes it is like I was looking at a helpless puppy-dog, then I was looking at emptiness, then I would get the thousand yard stares... .

I saw the biting of the lip too,

when I caught her lying, I got the "no it wasn't me look" "damn I'm caught"

unbelievable... .

Wow, I know exactly what you mean  My ex would do this a lot and even worse in my opinion was when this sadness would turn into a type of fake crying about how evil I am for staying at work to long. So glad she broke up with me -is that evil of me to say? 

 

Well, I'm gonna do something a little different - I'm gonna talk about me and my different "voices" and mannerisims.

I think we all have different voices and mannerisims we portray in any given situation, or social setting or group of people (friends, family, etc).  I think that is very very normal.  Not like saying we are totally different people - but just a different part of our overall person.

I speak very differently when I'm going into work as opposed to when I'm am walking the halls of my college campus hanging out with my buddies.

I speak very differently when I walk into my mother's house and chat with her than I do when I'm around my friends from work.

I speak TOTALLLLLLYYYY different when I am around my children (or have the responsibility for someone elses child... . i.e. baby sitting - or I'm taking my grandkids out to the park) than I do when I am alone with my s/o having a glass of wine and we are about to spend some intimate time together.

And... . depending on what is going on in my day - and I'm alone with my thoughts and just me... . I have a totally totally separate voice.

The voice I use in my just me time is the most interesting.  It isn't filtered through years of learning "what I'm suppose to do" or "what I'm suppose to say".  I don't feel a need to explain to someone "this is why I'm acting this way... . because I'm hurt or disappointed" - and that is very freeing.

I can allow myself just to be.

Not that any of the other voices are a problem... . I LOVE my daddy voice.  I love my at work mode.  I love being around my friends.  I love how I can walk into almost any social situation and feel comfortable.  I learned from the best (my grandfather) on how to go to a nice restaurant, speak with the staff, enjoy the surroundings and have a wonderful time.  I love that voice the best because it always reminds me of him.

I often wonder if I did him proud?  He passed about a decade ago.  I miss him.

But I digress.

Reason I'm sharing this is because I often wondered after my breakup  if  I was the one with a PD.  I mean, my ex was diagnosed.  All the signs and symptoms are there.  The anxiety, the depression, the cutting, the suicide fascination, the childhood abuse (physical and sexual), the addition to on-line stuff, spending monies we don't have on stuff we don't need, the lies, the cheating, the illogical and irrational circular arguments... .

There is one voice I don't like.  It's my stern "you just really pissed me off/disappointmed me" voice.  

You don't want to hear that voice.  You wouldn't like that voice.  

It is very strained.  I know I'm trying very hard not to explode.  I'm trying very hard to pick my words so a barrage of bullets don't come flying out at you (and trust me, they cut and cut hard).  My whole demeanor changes and you would have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to see and hear the change.  And it is almost instant.  

I use to think, due to being around my PDed people, that the quickness of my temper/anger/frustration was a bad thing.  NOPE!  It isn't.  It is my bodies way of telling me I know what just happened - there is no getting around it - whatever caued this to happen is real.

I may not know in that moment what exactly caused it, but my body and mind do (my instinct).  And the fight or flight instinct kick in ... . and 9 times out of 10 - I don't run.  

I want to stay, stand my ground, try all or some of the tools in my toolbag to difuse the situation (while not stepping down from my position).  I try not to push my agenda, but I don't change my agenda.  If I get pushed... . you don't want to do that.  Especially if I know (and feel) there is no cause for pushing.  

I push back.

Well, inititally I try to just put the ball either in a neutral court, or back in your court in an attempt to meet half way and stop any pushing being done to me (I don't like to be pushed).  But if in trying to go the highground I get pushed again... . step back.

Because at this point, I only have two options.  Walk away... . or handle it.  Both are no-win situations.  I despise no-win situations.

I've been learning to walk away a lot lately.

But if I don't walk away... . I had a tendency to explode.  From my POV, especially dealing with my personality disordered people, I had already put up with a serious round of BS... . so if we get to the point of 'handling it'... . I'm already ready to pop.  And it isn't pretty.

I don't like doing that.

I understand where it comes from, how it started, and I know it is a part of me now.  I know I have to either not be in those situatons, or if I do get in those situations - not to stay.  

There is a hurt little boy deep inside me that just doesn't like being hurt, or pushed, or told I did something wrong when I know for a fact I didn't.  I grew up like that and didn't have a voice.  Well... . when I got older - I certainly had a voice.  A very loud, very angry voice.

So for now, I'm Joshua from War Games.  The only way to win those games, is not to play.

Just thought I'd share.

No, its not evil to say that... . you just had to do what was best for you!

w posse, that was deep, honest and insightful.

My pwBPD would put her hands on her hips and start talking in a condescending sugary sweet obnoxious voice... and wouldn't listen to anything said... it was like she was caught in an old behavior loop. Met her mother and no question where the hands on the hips condescension thing came from.

I believe the phrase "hysterical is historical"... . fits.

I was nice/normal and doing well by her, and she would over-react and ignore the present to go through her weird little drama. It seemed over the top... now i think it was in fact a hysterical thing... something triggered her and it was like I wasn't present.

Had so many odd things like that... . wondering how I managed to not notice it all in real time and freak about it... but instead, tried to be nice and make her happy... . which was impossible... . wasn't me she was mad at, some ghost from her past I guess.

With my ex, I felt like I was the new 'face' that he attached all of his old wounds to, so he could replay those wounds.  I often felt that I was interacting with a man who had multiple personalities that would emerge with the flip of a switch.  He was showing me what he had experienced in his familial environment.  He wasn't really living in the here and now.  On an unconscious level, he was replaying those experiences as a way of processing them.  To him it was normal.  To me it was disturbing, and at times frightening. 

Yes definitely experienced the childlike behaviors and childlike voice. My uBPDxw would FREAK ME OUT too. She would start with the childlike voice when we were being intimate even talking like a baby. It would INSTANTLY take me out of the mood. I remember trying to talk to her about this. I told her it made me feel like I was fooling around with a kid. Man it FREAKS ME OUT just remembering this.

If I remember correctly the childlike voice would happen during times go heightened emotions like when she was very happy or very sad.

My xBPDh did the baby talk in bed also.  He is 50-how creepy.  It seemed to be after sex when he felt loved (secure) and he had with his head on my chest.  I certainly didn't want to be his mommy.  I told him to stop it, I didn't want to be having sex with a little boy.

I think everyone changes voices depending on moods, the environment and people they r with.  I do too.

I just felt the dramatic shifts of personality and the voice and mannerisms were strange to me.

It was significant

I would talk with him about it and he would say he was going into task oriented mode or counsellor mode or he was feeling vulnerable or whatever

It was different than what i was used to in previous relationships.

He said i wasnt used to someone who was not in persona and had real sides to them

I dont know...

Hmmm

Guess it could b true

Yes it is true that everyone may change mood voice tones or pitch due to a host of things but in my experience the ex BPD was seated talking to the same person(me) without any distractions just suddenly starts speaking like a five year old -yes that was really weird.     I don't know why they do it or if they even realize they're doing it.  The few times she did do it was when she was really excited about her relationship-first with me and then as she's cheating on me preparing to get engaged to the new Mr tomdickharry.

Mywifecrazy... .

I experienced the same the same thing when we were trying to get intimate, or were... . and the child came out, what a turn off for me.  I literally would fall out of the mood, felt like I was touching kissing etcc... . a child. Absolutely the most uncomfortable feeling ever in a relationship with anyone, never saw that before.  Thought something was wrong with me, but when it continued, I stopped it all because I knew something was way off.

Yes it was CREEPY for me too. But now that I'm out of her world (not completely we have 2 kids) it's very sad to think about. She really is a sick person. It's interesting that you mentioned being his Dad. When my my uBPDxw would do the baby talk I would tell her that she was acting like I was her Father. I told her that it made me feel creepy. I know now that this is a big reason why we were NEVER able to connect on a more mature emotional level.

In later years when she totally cut me out physically and was running around I still felt like her Dad but this time she was acting like a spoiled little teenage girl. Lying to me and acting one way with me but acting like a little tramp when she was out without me or at work. It was like she wanted to do what SHE wanted to do but knew it was wrong and hiding things from me much like a TEENAGER would do. I told her at the end of our 20yr relationship that I felt like all I was good for was as her provider. I told her I didn't want to be her DADDY anymore.

It's weird. I have primary custody and she only sees our sons every other weekend. I try to go NC as much as possible because of her continued lying and manipulation of everyone around her.  The few time that I do talk to her I still feel like her Dad. She acts like she's disappointing me and gets sad when she's around me. I HATE being put in that position. She is a HORRIBLE co-parent. I feel I have 2 children (my sons) and 1 step child.

PS I know my replacement is getting the Baby Talk! Poor Ass!

Good thing for you that you got out early. I was STEEPED in the FOG. I did love her and guess I felt like I was rescuing her. That is EXACTLY what she WANTED. She played me perfectly!

Yes like my last post it screwed me up emotionally and physically with her. I couldn't make love to her when she was like that. It would give me a sick and creepy feeling. TOTALLY took me out of the mood. I remember talking to her during one of these nights.  She was upset at me and I had to tell her I couldn't go through with it because it made me feel like a child molester... . makes me feel nauseous just remembering it and writing it down here.

The weird thing is that once she got me locked into a relationship with her all the Baby Talk ended as well as all the talk of her being abused in her youth. It's like that is her game plan to paint herself as a victim to LURE in her victims.  Years later she did this same thing with my replacement only this time I was the abuser and my replacement was rescuing her from me.

I'm sure he is getting a HEAVY DOSE of the Baby Talk! 

My situation with my Ex was a little different from what you guys are describing.  He had a certain personality and mannerisms I feel he used as BAIT to get you in the beginning.  Because his REAL personality is very boring.

In the beginning, he was very animated, had a lot of energy, would make this little face that was a crinkling of the nose and narrowing the eyes thing. I often said he reminded me of Jason Bateman.  He also would end phone conversations with the breathy long BBBYYYYEEEE (THIS I hated and felt was creepy and weird).  I noticed when he was starting to pull away from me (And probably wooing the replacement) he stopped the facial expressions, his personality was bland and boring, never wanted to do much of anything and would just end the phone calls with a normal goodbye.

Just shows how they all have these personas they use... .

Well yep - mine also did baby voice. It was like at least 3 different persons within one body - that was my first idea - multiple personalities. The weirdest thing was when she caught me by surprise - we are driving somewhere and out of the blue she turns her eyes, lips into cute baby face and says - can we go to the beach? What? Are you realistic ? And such unreal wishes - childish wishes were quite often.

Then the angry face. I knew when she is upset, angry and represses her feelings by looking at her nose - nostrils they don't lie. Overall she had a very charming voice - anyone could fall for that... .

Talking about other childish things - and turnoffs :)  She had panties with cartoon characters - 27 something woman. 

Sometimes I also fooled around with baby voice - those very very light intimate moments usually in the morning around breakfast - these moments somehow relieved the tension between us.

My ex would call me up then suddenly scream leave me alone in a totally diffent voice then throw the phone down and hang up.  Like I called him.  It was so disturbing.

Promises

Yes, I must confess that my BPDexgf also did the baby talk routine in bed. Not just the tone of voice, but the actual vocabulary. I found myself dwelling on this somewhat after the r/s ended, and considered asking about it on this board, but I thought nah, that's too much of a reach to bring up here as a possible sign of BPD. So lo and behold, I come on here today, and right before my eyes are numerous people describing exactly what I experienced.

The baby talk... . I thought it was much more weird than it was endearing.

Perhaps it's an escape... . a reversion... . from the intensity and presumed intimacy of the moment?

I've also been dwelling somewhat on the possibility that during the initial stages of the r/s, there is a distinct sense of a sweet, childlike goodness that these BPD women give off. Not to the extent of out-and-out baby talk, of course, but something very refreshing, honest, unspoiled, and unique. I feel this persona is a tremendous weapon they use to disarm men, to throw them off the trail, to preclude any future idea of capability of guile or heartlessness.

When the hammer inevitably comes down, it's devastating.

Thoughts?

Ha! That just brought some behaviors back to mind.  My uBPDexgf would shift her voice like this:

If she wanted something from someone, especially but not limited to men, her voice would literally raise in pitch (she has a natural middle register voice) to that of a teenage girl.  I realized when she was doing this that she was basically reverting into a helpless, vulnerable child.

If she was around teenagers or pre-teens (her 11YO daughter's age) she would take on the pitch and vocal mannerisms of those girls, in essence becoming of their peers (this troubled me early on).

Her most visible mannerism was to twirl her hair.  She wore long hair extensions and would constantly twirl it in conversations with both adult men and women, especially when she was trying to "figure them out", appear unknowledgeable, seductive or vulnerable.  This baffled me for some time.

Conversely, when she was around me for the most part, or if she was discussing matters of money (she was raised to believe the acquisition of money and wealth was the holy grail) her voice would remain almost exclusively adult.

Also, I remember during sex (mostly early on), she would say "Ow, ow" almost literally in the voice of a 6-year-old child being violated.  It struck me as unusual at the time and I asked her about it.  At the time she sort of brushed it off smiling and said something like "Oh, I'll tell you about that and a lot of other things, too".  I don't recall if she ever did.

Hi Day2day, one of the funniest (now) things looking back over the length of the r/s was how many bizarre behaviors became normalized over time.  It's quite a funny list.  I think since most "normal" r/s's are also full of many unique quirks of personality (our own included) that we tend to overlook or minimize them, but especially in the FOG of a BPD r/s. 

To your point, early on I observed of the "seductress" quality of my uBPDexgf with men.  It was/is her most potent currency and she enjoyed it.  Early in our r/s I used to comment to her that it seemed like everything she did, and I mean everything -- the large boob job, very provocative but $$$$ clothing habits, the random girlish voice, the hair twirling, the touching, flirting with typically everyone she came in contact with -- presented some expression of available sexuality.  What an ass I must have sounded like saying these things!  Again, to a degree we all do them at times but with her the affect was just so... . Marilyn Monroe/Jessica Rabbit. 

It makes sense though b/c although she was an attractive woman she felt so horrible disfigured, stupid, ugly and worthless most of the time that she had to compensate externally by being over-the-top.  It used to break my heart that she couldn't see how naturally beautiful she was w/o all the artifice but I don't believe she's really capable to do that.  So yes, the voice and many other things were just one of the many implements she employed to "throw people off the trail".

my ex BPD g/f would not only change her voice but everything about her will change even the way she looks its like dealing with three totally different people you would have to see pics of her really understand how much she changes

Makes sense to me.  After a number of recycles with my uBPDexgf I always felt somewhat relieved that “she broke up with me.”  It left me feeling as though there was no reason for her to boil my pet…  It was the times she’d ‘dump me’ for having ‘spoken’ to another woman that had me on edge

As far as the ‘baby voice’…  not that I can recall.  Actually, she had a beautiful voice, somewhat deeper than most women, and very alluring…  What she did do that was child-like was …expose herself to me, and others (she loves public nudity events - feeds into a co-morbid Histrionic PD is suspect ).

Though I’d have been ditched so that she’d be untethered at such outings, photos she’d later show me were identical to ‘facial expressions’ (that of a little girl likely appearing nude in front of …the public) where she looked eerily like a child!  Often times with me she’d show that same expression when presenting herself.  It was hauntingly weird, an actually turned me off to the point of making sure she didn’t recognize my disgust. 

It’s like I always know something wasn’t quite right… but couldn’t place my finger on it till I discovered BPD. 

Mywifeiscrazy

"She was upset at me and I had to tell her I couldn't go through with it because it made me feel like a child molester... . makes me feel nauseous just remembering it and writing it down here."

-I felt the exact same thing, like the person who she said molested her when she was a child, most disgusting thing I have ever felt in bed with a woman, I don't expect her to ever comprehend that!

Day2day

-I think they do revert back to that childlike place as a defense mechanism, or unresolved truam? possibly from that age that their development completely stopped... . they do shift, from different tones depending who thier around sometimes, it may have to do with their lack of identity?

sunnyside

"If she wanted something from someone, especially but not limited to men, her voice would literally raise in pitch (she has a natural middle register voice) to that of a teenage girl.  I realized when she was doing this that she was basically reverting into a helpless, vulnerable child."

-I think this is an accurate interpretation of what was going on, so bizarre, but thats where you can see the disorder and the pathology, their disordered.

Hi all,

My ex wasn't diagnosed but fit along the Waif/Hermit lines in her presentation to me. The child-like voice was pretty common in our r/s. I didn't see it until after we were in a r/s... . only 4 dates in. The r/s ended before I knew anything about BPD or could learn any more about her past. So I can only speculate, but after lots of reading and having a therapist who was married to a pwBPD for 10 years, it was definitely not a healthy r/s. I was a little naive to fall in love so quickly and to ignore the red flags.

The child-like part of her personality, the voice, the excitement over planning for a wedding/family/etc, was very endearing to me at the time. After a lot of introspection I believe most of my attraction to her was due to my neglecting my own inner child. In some way I was fulfilling this need or living a new childhood through her. I don't want to hijack the thread, but do any of you think this is possible for you, too? I'm just curious.

She did seem to act differently with different people. We all do to a degree. But she was in her 20s and sounded like a little kid when the voice would come out. It seemed to be when we were alone or with her family. She put on her "adult" persona when we were with other adults, for the most part. Maybe in some sense she "knew" that was attractive to me, or that it was a persona which worked for her in the past when she attracted men like me. Otherwise she seemed very knowledgeable about some things like parenting, etc., so she also seemed very smart. This part of her is what kept me believing that she was looking and able to meet a serious commitment.

It's something I think I'll bring up in T.  I'll post about it as I learn more  .


This is one of the many maddening things about this disorder, the fact that the behaviors of a pwBPD are in essence just intensely exaggerated behaviors of regulated adults.  The difference being since pwBPD have developed no access to a regulated adult self, these behaviors manifest as inappropriate in many adult situations.

In particular with some women w/BPD, those child-like behaviors prove quite attractive for certain archetype males.  They weren't for me and caused many conflicts between us.  However I do believe I was attracted to saving/rescuing the helpless, abandoned child (in effect, me) and that was what I allowed to engulf me further in the r/s.  Even as a parent with two preteen children, her ability to present as a reasonably whole, autonomous adult was suspect as many basic parental instincts were totally foreign to her.

This is something I have recently discovered about myself.  It's really amazing to read someone else has had this thought process.  Makes me feel validated.  My BPDmother put me in charge of taking care of her from a young age.  Pretty much every woman I have been with has done the same thing.  Through all of it, I have ignored myself and my inner child.  To make up for it I was finding women who I basically ended up having to treat like a child instead of actually focusing on my own inner child and dealing with the issues I have there.

As far as my exBPDgf, she very rarely talked in a child-like voice, though it did happen.  She was, however, very child-like in a lot of ways.  A stuffed bunny I got her became a prized possession to the point she was jealous when her own daughter, an actual child, touched it.  She would squeal and giggle at the sight of baby animals. 

The most disturbing thing, now that the FOG is clearing, was that I had to create a mythical unicorn that "watched" over her when I wasn't there.  She would call, sometimes very late at night, in near hysterics about being alone.  We didn't live together so I didn't stay with her every night and also sometimes travel.  She would call and need to be comforted.  Her daughter (age 7) and I had created a fictional unicorn when we played together.  One night I joked that the unicorn lived on the roof and would watch over her.  My ex latched onto this and would ask me to tell me about the unicorn when she was scared or upset.

I found her child-like qualities endearing at the time, and some of them still are.  My problem was tht I attributed those qualities to a healthy connection with her inner child, when the reality couldn't be further from that.  On my end, as I mentioned above, I was fulling a role I was thrust into far to early in life as well as trying desperately to ignore my own problems by focusing on her's.

mr fox

sounds like you were taking care of her little girl that was operating in her quite a bit.  I am sure we all go into our little girl or little boy at times.  My ex and I would bring that out in each other and we acknowledged that. Sometimes it was playful and fun .  I think sometimes it can be unhealthy too as you describe in your situation.  If you found yourself care taking that part of her too much .  My ex used to claim all women were wandering around in little girl, not being real women. I think that was a definite distortion.  My ex used to call me by my childhood name at times  that only my dad refers to.  I  felt funny about it  but thought it was a way for him to be endearing to me at times.  He used it alot when trying to reconnect or there was a weak spot. I also did that to him. I believe relationships do bring out our inner child and how we choose to interact with that part of ourselves in relationship is the issue .  It can be fun, loving, nurturing, intimate or it can be destructive, manipulative and an imbalance of control.

It is without a doubt that I bring out my inner child to play in my r/s as much as possible.  It feels good to not have to worry and to feel safe. Especially at those times when there are no major worries (well, at least in the moment).  Like... . all the bills are paid, work is going well, there are not fires burning - and there is a surplus of cash to do some stuff with and the person (or people) I'm with I feel safe and loved and part of something.  Oh hell yeah that feels great.

My inner child comes out in full force... . I get to "be me" and not feel ashamed, or guilt or nothing.

What makes it even "better" is when this happens and I am totally self sufficient.  Which mean, I'm in charge of this train.  For example, I have my apartment... . car... . job... . I pay my bills... . I do what I need to do to make my life complete and happy - and if I allow someone to come in and get close, it's because I want it and trust it and feel good.  And when or if they start to act up... . I can just not deal with them.

The danger there is... . there is a chance I'm actually not being emotionally available to them or giving myself a chance to emotionally grow or trust someone else not to hurt me.  that is the thing, really.  Wall myself to not get hurt and not be close to someone like I really want.

It's a vicious cycle.

But... . healing has to start somehow.

MrFox, I was/ am the oldest of four siblings and also felt thrust into the role of caregiver at too early an age.  But your follow-up statement really struck me… though I, too, spent time and energy soothing my uBPDexgf’s inner child, I likely viewed dealing with her ‘childish problems’ as far easier than my own. 

After successfully raising two daughters, basically on my own, apparently I began raising another?  …the entire time avoiding the ‘adult concerns’ I continue to face…  I appreciate your insight, I think

I think when two people can bring out their inner children in each other, it can be amazing.  When my relationship with my ex first started, it was very much a two way street and was really fun.  As the relationship progressed it became more and more her being a needy child, it became more and more about me caring for her and her inner child.  My own inner child was shoved aside by her, and sadly, by me as I took on the role of the adult in the relationship. She is/was looking for a father-figure to replace the very deficient father she has (who she creepily still refers to as "daddy" despite being 34).  I was thrust into that role and I accepted it.  All of the responsibility of her and the relationship rested on me.  She is not 100% to blame, as I accepted that role.

What I will look for, when I begin to look for a r/s again, is someone who can bring out my inner child and I her's.  However, I now refuse to put my own aside for the sake of another.  I want a relationship with an adult woman who can express her inner child with and enjoy mine.  I, however, will not raise someone's inner child.  That is not my responsibility.

That's weird. My uBPDxw in addition to doing the baby talk would always refer to her Mother and Father as MOMMY and DADDY. I always thought that it was odd and after a while it became annoying!  Anyone else notice this in their pwBPD?

I too ended up feeling like my uBPDxw Father in our relationship. I even told her this once in an argument. I told her that I didn't want to be her Daddy that I was tired of having to TAKE CARE OF HER... . She was already cheating on me by then!

corraline

"

It can be fun, loving, nurturing, intimate or it can be destructive, manipulative and an imbalance of control.  "

I couldn't agree more with your statement, well said.

Mr Fox,

I think it great that you were able to gaint his insight in regards to your own needs moving towards the future,