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Title: Came home to a note on my bed Post by: grover11 on April 25, 2014, 11:55:56 AM When I got home yesterday I found a not from my wife on my bed. I did not read it I just put it under some other stuff and left it there. With all the texts, notes, and verbal begging this week I just don't want to deal with it anymore. I'm sure I was right in leaving it alone but all her attempts at changing my mind sure can get tiring.
Title: Re: Came home to a note on my bed Post by: Mutt on April 25, 2014, 04:16:09 PM This is a difficult period for you grover11. It's difficult when your spouse is texting, leaving notes and begging you to stay. It pulls at the heartstrings.
This article will help you with leaving a borderline partner https://bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a110.htm The first stage ":)etachment" is not really applicable at this time, you're leaving in a few days, but the next stage Ending the Relationship will be helpful. You are right, leaving it alone is the right thing to do. Excerpt Gradually become more boring, talk less, share less feelings and opinions. The goal is almost to bore "The Borderline" to lessen the emotional attachment, at the same time not creating a situation which would make you a target. Excerpt - If "The Borderline" panics, you'll receive a shower of phone calls, letters, notes on your car, etc. React to each in the same manner - a boring thanks. If you overreact or give in, you've lost control again. Stay the course grover11. We're here for you, hang in there. Title: Re: Came home to a note on my bed Post by: Turkish on April 26, 2014, 11:32:44 PM When I got home yesterday I found a not from my wife on my bed. I did not read it I just put it under some other stuff and left it there. With all the texts, notes, and verbal begging this week I just don't want to deal with it anymore. I'm sure I was right in leaving it alone but all her attempts at changing my mind sure can get tiring. Hi grover11, Mutt posted some good info on how to detach from a borderline. It's been a long two and a half decades for you, and you deserve to be your own man now. You did the job of raising your children together, though from your other posts, it must be very hard to get the FOG from them (https://bpdfamily.com/content/emotional-blackmail-fear-obligation-and-guilt-fog) on you deciding to leave. How is it going with your sons at this point? I admire you for having the courage to be forthright and take action about it. I was passive-aggressive with mine, which resulted in her detaching and leaving me. |