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Title: shes really in my head today Post by: Deeno02 on October 25, 2014, 02:51:44 PM Almost 2 months b/u and almost 30 days NC and shes in my head. God strike me dead as I cant take this s**t anymore. I know its passing but god damn shes renting space with the replacement, in my damn head. Driving down the road crying and trying to hold back tears while the damn cable guy is here... .What the heck...
Title: Re: shes really in my head today Post by: MrConfusedWithItAll on October 25, 2014, 03:34:09 PM I know where you are coming from. It has been over 3 months since bu and over 6 weeks NC. In the early days it was a struggle to keep my eyes dry even when at work. It is getting easier though. Mindfulness meditation has helped me a lot and it is very quick to learn. Stay in the present and remember everything changes - and this means your grief will change also and her importance in your mind will fade away.
Title: Re: shes really in my head today Post by: Mutt on October 25, 2014, 07:39:45 PM Hi Deeno02,
You suffered a major loss. Have you checked the five stages of detachment to the right?------------------------------------------> Excerpt ACKNOWLDGEMENT [Stage 1]: When we're dealing with a major loss or strong attachment, we begin our healing by acknowledging and working with our feelings. The feelings that are the stickiest aspects of attachment are: the excited desire we feel when we want something, the anxiety we feel about losing it, and the sense of hopelessness that can arise when we fail to achieve it. Acknowledgment doesn't just mean recognizing that we want something badly or that we're feeling loss. When you want something, feel how you want it—find the wanting feeling in your body. Remember when you were feeling cocky about a victory and you beat your chest and said, "Me, me, me!" Rather than pushing away the anxiety and fear of losing what you care about, let it come up and breathe into it the same way. And when you're experiencing the hopelessness of actual loss, allow it in. Let yourself cry. You had a long history together and things are still raw. I broke down in tears at the most unexpected places and times. It's a loss. It's OK to let those emotions come up. Hang in there. --Mutt Title: Re: shes really in my head today Post by: Deeno02 on October 25, 2014, 11:56:11 PM Hi Deeno02, You suffered a major loss. Have you checked the five stages of detachment to the right?------------------------------------------> Excerpt ACKNOWLDGEMENT [Stage 1]: When we're dealing with a major loss or strong attachment, we begin our healing by acknowledging and working with our feelings. The feelings that are the stickiest aspects of attachment are: the excited desire we feel when we want something, the anxiety we feel about losing it, and the sense of hopelessness that can arise when we fail to achieve it. Acknowledgment doesn't just mean recognizing that we want something badly or that we're feeling loss. When you want something, feel how you want it—find the wanting feeling in your body. Remember when you were feeling cocky about a victory and you beat your chest and said, "Me, me, me!" Rather than pushing away the anxiety and fear of losing what you care about, let it come up and breathe into it the same way. And when you're experiencing the hopelessness of actual loss, allow it in. Let yourself cry. You had a long history together and things are still raw. I broke down in tears at the most unexpected places and times. It's a loss. It's OK to let those emotions come up. Hang in there. --Mutt I am Mutt. Sometimes its a bit overwhelming. Thanks! |