BPDFamily.com

My BPD wife and I have been legally separated for 13 months. We had been married for 22 years before she left me. This site has been unbelievably helpful to me. I had actually created my own vocabulary and terms to describe her behavior so it was beyond relief to discover all these nutty behaviors converged to a point with a name - BPD.

     About a year before she left me I knew she was having an affair but didnt get the last piece of full proof info til right after Christmas. I stuck with our horrible marriage bc I was trying to keep our family together despite her behavior (I had do e it for 22 years) but after she left things became so much better It was shocking. She is full of rage, emotional swings, I hate you, why are you looking at me that way, etc... .

     I went through my own suffering after getting the last piece of info on her affair. Being pretty sure and being completely sure can be quite different. I held my piece until yesterday. She called me to tell me this wonderful thing that happened to her at Church and I cracked. I told her I knew she had an affair, the guy, the details, etc... .She didnt deny the details but denied that she had sex. Ok. Whatever. She actually asked me where we stood. I told her "I will never take you back after you have been with a other man when you were married to me. I am divorcing you. This marriage is over." I told her not to tell me any more of her spiritual experiences because i dont need advise on spiritual living from a cheating spouse. I told her I didnt want to talk with her about anything except the kids and our divorce.

Now I worry about her retaliation with the kids. I wonder if I should have just divorced her without telling her I knew she had cheated in order to keep her calm and not become enraged on the kids. She also has a history of using the kids as pawns.

Hi 22years,


I'm sorry your going through this.

What type of spiritual advise is she giving?

How often do you talk?