BPDFamily.com

So my BPD exgf has been nice lately and she said to be I can't beleive it's over it's like I woke up from a bad dream

and we did not live togeatheir anymore.mind you we have been split up for 2years and I still see her 4times a month because of are son.i just have a hard time believing she did not know how to reach out and say sorry? Any ideas on this dream theory ?

My opinion is that don't believe it.  From what I read, it is impossible for PDs to change.  Even the ones claim to change, seem transitory.  Just my opinion.

There could be some truth to it. I've been reading older posts from years ago on this site and one person was mentioning this exact same thing. The exBPDgf said it all felt like a dream to her and she had no idea why she did what she did. Her words, "I can't tell you why I did it, it just seemed like a dream." When her ex asked her why she didn't call and say sorry she said something along the lines of she felt so badly for what she had done, she didn't know how to call and say it.

So I do think sometimes it is the case. I suspect sometimes my ex may be in this type of situation. In the past when I would call her on her behavior she would say she had no idea why she did what she did and she hereself was not proud of her actions.

I can tell you now, if she wasn't proud of some things in the past, she is probably burning with shame over last year's actions. And well she should... .

"Woke up from a bad dream" = dissociation?

Either way, be careful.

Another thing is that even if she really changed, can you ever get over the abuse that occurred?  I know I will never be able to trust my NPDw and love has long gone the door.  It takes alot for me to get to this point.  But if you read my other posts about my situation, you may understand.  Nothing is functional in my relationship.  She makes no effort even to be a human being to me and to my relatives.  She invents all these imaginary war fare and influence my kids to see me as this useless person.  NPDw with Asperg like actions ... .so that is who I am dealing with.  You maybe dealing with a BPD and that has more emotional swings.  My NPDw is pretty consistently cold, uncaring and just flat out demeaning at all times.  So perhaps, after a while, it is easier for me to have her abusive ways burnt into my brain ... .so my personal experience maybe unique due to my situation.  As for me, no one can convince me to hopeful for any PDs to change ... .I prefer to stay away after its over.  This is just my opinion.  Good luck with your decision.  Every case is different, but I think it is a better bet to stay away.