BPDFamily.com

I know, I know... .no good. My life is so monotonous now and peaceful. It's totally unnerving. I miss all the "excitement" she brought! But not the pain, which clearly outweighs the "excitement." After 28+ years of marriage I am truly split. I need to find a substitute healthy intoxicant to bring back the earthly excitement. Any ideas?

me too man, work more more more  distractions  idk im drowing too

I kinda understand what you mean here. I have always been a very even keeled guy. Very chill. My BPDx was the complete opposite obviously. Was kinda like a Ying-Yang thing. I was always tempering her down and she would give me  a few doses of zing here and there, but for the most part it was a "negative" type of energy if that makes any sense. Maybe if it was motivating, uplifting and gave a sense of zeal... .but it was caustic and dirty.

We lived together for a full year and things were pretty tempered. She really turned her life around. One day she flat out told me she was "bored?" A few days later she dropped me and asked me to move out. Ironically, 3 months later she came back to me telling me she needed her "Rock" back. I was her compass.

ive dreded the im bord texts, i know this all to well also, i tryd to be my best to keep her busy but the horse wouldnt drink, they often ,most evrytime, ment she was hurting   she wouldnt comunicate about it just freekd out when i askd. i prepared myself for a long night and next few days after that. to this day she still wont open about what is hurting her. theres so much inside i dont know why they cant get threw it.

Do something less risky, but wild and crazy?  Take a day off work, go to amusement park?  Dance in your car all the way to work tomorrow waving good morning at strangers who stare?

Me too - I miss the drama to life, but the peace and calm is soo much better. Together 30yrs so built a life totally fuelled by drama. I struggle getting excitement back. I like the way you put it "substitute healthy intoxicant to bring back the earthly excitement". The important point here for me is "healthy". Tried a few unhealthy ways before I realised what I was doing and had to rethink things. So yep - know what you mean. No suggestions to offer though. I'm trying getting into mindfulness and yoga in a big way and seeing where that leads me. Early days yet but I'm really liking where they are taking me. One thing I never thought I'd miss is the drama and that constant adrenalin going through the body - now I have to get my own drama hit - ironic!

lol I would have felt the same in my 20s! Now I'm in my 40s I think TFFT!  :)

I miss the adoration and the feeling of being important to someone... .but the drama?  Hell No!

Zunder you captured what I'm feeling. Yes I know I feel important to my children, and that is the world to me. But it's a different type of feeling when someone is on your mind first thing in the morning and last thing at night. I read a quote that says "The first person you think about in the morning and the last person you think about at night is either the reason for your happiness or the reason for your pain."

Feels funny that my ex gf went from the reason for the happiness to now the reason for the pain. Also knowing she moved on three weeks after our two years relationship was over (of which we lived together for seven months, and my kids stayed there three nights a week). She went from all that to some new guy, but at least from what I've heard from a friend he's a downgrade. But she is still in the apartment we shared, and I'm sure she's already taken him back there. That thought sickens me.

Get a badly behaved dog from the dogs home, it'll run you ragged, sometimes come for a cuddle, sometimes bite the hand that feeds it for no reason but at least you where it is every evening & it wont bad mouth you or spend extortionate amounts of time on social media.

Failing that, a budgie?