BPDFamily.com

Well it's been 2 months or so since breakup . I went no contact a week later. First two weeks I was devastated and crushed. Couldn't eat , no gym, and was calling out of work and crying alone in my house wondering what the heck happened. But I continued my therapy and stumbled upon BPD. I am now 100% sure she is borderline. I forced myself to go out with friends . I went out on a bunch of dates , although most of the time I was thinking about my ex and often felt worse after the date, sometimes even crying on the way home. I thought for sure this was gonna destroy me. My therapist even recommended lexapro. I declined because happiness shouldn't be in a pill. I read up on BPD and came here everyday. It's amazing how most stories mirror mine. But the pain even after a month was still there. I would wake up with anxiety. Would still wonder if she would contact me. I still wanted her back even though she treated me like s$&t.

     I eventually Went back to work, forced myself into he gym and got back to running. After a month the sharp pains were gone. I went out with more girls and even had a one night stand which boosted my confidence a little lol. I started to realize being out of that relationship was good and being single isn't all that bad. Two months in I no longer think about her all that much. I don't care what she is doing. Her birthday is next week and I could care less. I gave my all to her so she won't be getting a Bday message from me. This Friday I went out with a girl for dinner. I had no expectations for anything. She was beautiful and the date went awesome. We are going out again. First time in a while I realize I could be happy without ex. I went to a wedding solo and talked to friends I haven't seen in a while. The bottom line is today I feel good, I have a ton of energy and could care less about the woman that tore my heart out. I'm not saying I'm completely over it but it's a few steps in the right direction. Today is a good day.

That's great to hear bigmd! It always gives me hope when us on the leaving board eventually piece our lives back together. 

Great to hear. I'm at a bout the same post but after slow recovery it's got a little worse this week cos I know I'll see her soon. I should throw myself back into the dating game but I've always been awkward and find it hard to get dates.

I hear ya, not sure how I would handle it if I saw her. The thing that really helped is get rid of all reminders and delete pics. I don't go anywhere I know she may be. Like shopping at food store . You jus have to force yourself . The first couple of dates I didn't even know why I was going . But it got better, and soon you will realize there are other people out there. You don't have to be walked on like I was.

Hey thanks, my ex didn't really walk on me much she was quite high functioning, she just stopped trying to keep the relationship.

Do you mind if I ask how you got back into dating? I'm finding it hard to be social still

That's basically what mine did too. She ran away. Little did I know there we no reasoning with her . I joined an online dating site. Very easy that way. Some were duds but others were good. It's just something to keep your mind off the ex and realize there are other woman out there.