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Had a great christmas until tonight. The snow is falling so beautiful and I felt at peace. Told my ex i missed him this year ( worst idea ever) he said " That's the past, can't wish that anymore. Gotta look to the future" WOW thanks.

Than my other ex was texting me got drunk and stopped than blocked my number. ( EVEN THOUGH HE TOLD ME TO TXT HIM! ALSO COOL )


I've never felt so used and rejected and terrible on christmas.  :'( I've cried and let it out. Just hold myself and say it'll be okay, this will pass you will one day meet someone who cares for you back.


Bad idea to break NC I hope other's were stronger of if they did it went better for them. Just gotta hold your head up I suppose and let this not break you.

<3

Hang in there!  You just did something natural.  I think we were all tested today. 

It's natural to want to reach out during the holidays. But when we reach out to people that have emotional issues it can be disheartening if we are looking for something they are not able to provide.

My GF broke up with me suddenly without warning four days before Christmas. I went ahead and sent her and her sons presents over to her that were already purchased.  She unblocked her phone long enough on Christmas Eve to say thanks for the presents, have a good life.

This morning I sent her a Facebook message that simply said Merry Christmas. It sent her off the handle, calling me a psycho and threatening to call the police if I ever contacted her again, and that she already said thanks for the presents so now f--- off.

So no, my contact did not go better.

This is a difficult time for many. And a lot of pwBPD are prone to having more problematic episodes. Don't take it personally, and don't give up on finding that someone that will be there for you.

I'm so sorry to hear that. The emotional rejection is so painful.   to you.

I would of done the same thing. I actually had someone the other day tell me " you can't always be nice people will walk all over you"


The funny thing is, I don't even see my actions as nice. I'm a person who lives by #deathbedthoughts

Life is so short. In this small or long time we have would you want your heart to be filled with love or hate?

Most of the time I chose love and compassion. It seems like an obvious choice to me. But I always find it isn't popular. Selfishness and "winning" is popular.


I don't know. I guess I've always looked at bigger picture of things. Look on a scale of earth and the universe we are so small in comparison. And we should be rapped up in ourselves? Never made sense to me. You sound like may think the same way. Time is precious.


I hope it gets better for you seeker <3

Thanks for your well wishes Blackandblue,

Once I get past my moms funeral services next week things will get better.

Your philosophy on life resonated with me.

Here's to a brighter New Year

I'm sorry that happened. Staying no contact is the best way to protect yourself . It really sucks at first because you miss them terribly! But after a while the fog lifts and you see things you didn't want to acknowledge when you were in it. They didn't care about our feelings during the relationship why would they start now. They are toxic, sick and not thinking clearly! Their wiring is off. Nothing they say can be taken as what they actually feel or mean at any given time! Remember that! They will love you one minute, hate you the next.

I went down that road yesterday, getting mad. Now I am back to trying to fix the situation. I have been NC for several weeks and I know that it is the best thing. If he was back in my life, I would be that crazy person again that I hate. I do not care what it takes this weekend but killing myself of contacting my BPD is not the answer. I am going to take a shower and go to the store. When I get back, I am going to finish my movie. Do anything that does not hurt you.